What Melbourne Loved in 2021 (and 2020), part 4

Telia Nevile and Bron Batten were also in the first What Melbourne Loved. I first reviewed Telia in 2006 and Bron in 2008. I first saw Telia perform in 2001 and I would have seen Bron at one of the first Last Tuesday Society shows. I've since seen whatever work of theirs that I can. It's amazing to watch artists develop and find their voices and create such incredible and original work that comes straight from their hearts.

Bron Batten
Theatre maker, producer, performer
Jobkeeper tax expert, excellent hair

Bron Batten. "Waterloo"

What theatre/art/creative experience did you love the most in 2021?I can never just narrow it down to one! So I won’t. I absolutely adored Alisdair Macindoe’s Reference Material at Northcote Town Hall. Sexy, clever, funny, smart, bursting with ideas and self-aware but not (too!) smug. And a dance work. Wonders never cease. Remount please.
 
I saw Michelle Brasier’s Average Bear on Sunday night and it should have won the Best Of at this year’s MICF. Brutally funny and utterly beautifully sad, I ugly laughed/cried the whole way through. Voice of an angel and an absolute quadruple threat.
 
I was lucky enough to make it up to Darwin to perform at the festival and as a result finally saw Selina Jenkins’s Boobs. And it was just as wonderful as everyone had constantly said it was. She’s a master of the raised eyebrow and managed to turn the audience on a dime, whilst holding them carefully in the palm of her hand. Plus, great songs and timeless nipple-centric material.
 
I was also fortunate to see Alice Sing, the great choir from Alice Springs, kill it at their Darwin Fest show, Red Desert, Endless Sky, under the tireless guidance of their super-talented choir master Edward Gould. Beautiful original compositions and arrangements and 50 people singing together who were mic-ed up properly. Unheard of in a lockdown world and completely goosebumps/tear inducing. Magical. Ed and I used to run the OG choir together in Melbourne under the various guises of Choir Straits, Your Love is Lifting Me Choir and This Sex is on Choir. Alice Sings is much, much, much better.
 
Also, while I’m here, massive shout out to the Darwin Festival team for getting through a mid-festival lockdown, re-scheduling shows on the fly and being massive babe legends throughout. Oh and honourable mention to Lou Wall’s That One Time I Joined The Illuminati. Told you I wouldn’t be able to pick just one.
 
What surprised you about finding new ways to make art in locked-down worlds?
Christopher Green’s No Show for The Yard Theatre in London utilised its Zoom audience in clever ways, with audience participation involving home-based tasks, assigned character quests, spotify dj-ing and group karaoke. It was totally worth staying up until 4am to watch it during a timeless lockdown netherworld.
 
I also experienced several shows during Melbourne Fringe 2020 that involved packages being delivered to your house – and the utter delight in receiving personally addressed mail which is not electricity bills never, ever, ever wears out.
 
What did you do to stay connected to your arts community?
I spent a lot of time in 2020 working as one of the many admin’s on the Facebook group Australian Arts Amidst COVID-19, founded by Perth artist Alex Desebrock. In the aftermath of the March 2020 shutdowns AAAC19 provided a focus, gathering point and community contact for many members of the arts ecology throughout endless lockdowns. We tried to help people with the administration involved in seeking government assistance and financial help, relief grants and Centrelink etc. And I was constantly astounded by the generosity, kindness, knowledge and support people offered each other throughout that utterly terrifying time. Though I NEVER thought I’d now know this much about the taxation laws surrounding JobKeeper.

What are you looking forward to in 2022?
TOURING! (Hopefully!)

SM: In what world could Bron and I ever have imagined that my favourite memory of her would be her FB group reminders to put in Jobkeeper details? It's ridiculous, right!? I was also thrilled that she got to Darwin with Waterloo, which I've only seen once (!) and have no idea what its turned into since its first run. Hopefully we will see it in Melbourne again.

 

Telia Nevile
Poet, performer, photographer
Where punk and delightful collide

Telia Nevile

What theatre/art/creative experience did you love the most 2021 (or 2020)?
I loved how the arts (of all types) became more accessible, opening up to people who can’t leave their homes, navigate physical venues, make it into the city, or be in crowds. Being able to watch arts from all over the world was also incredible; it felt a little like being a kid in a candy-store, being free to curate my own festival rather than wait for someone else to do it for me. On top of this, the arts community has always been generous with their time and their skills, but it hit new heights with workshops and classes and online dance parties popping up all over the place. It’s crazy to me that the arts aren’t always recognised as the thing that brings us together and makes us better because they do, and for all of the many, and long, lockdowns, they did. I was just so proud to be part of such a wonderful community.
 
What surprised you about finding new ways to make art in locked-down worlds?
It’s a totally different mindset, and once I got my head around it, it surprised me that the show I wrote will have two completely different lives and two ways of expressing itself – the filmed version and the live version. It’s no longer enough to just film a live performance and say that it’s available digitally – it’s a completely independent version of the show that needs to be reimagined and made in its own way. I can’t wait to perform Little Monster live and feel how the show shifts and changes.
 
What did you do to stay connected to your arts community?
As lame as it sounds, I signal-boosted every post I saw of people making stuff, or achieving things, or just sharing small things to be happy about, because now, more than ever, we need to be as supportive as we have the spoons to be. I messaged people I usually just run into in foyers, to tell them that I’d read their posts and felt the same, or seen their digital works and gotten joy from them, or that what they were doing was amazing (because it is). Social media is usually quite alien to me, but during the lockdowns, it felt more like the community noticeboard I always wanted it to be.
 
What are you looking forward to in 2022?
Seeing lots of live performance with an increased focus on accessibility. Seeing live shows and then seeing their digital versions to enjoy the different interpretations and suck as much marrow from the bones as possible. Hopefully touring again to NZ, and then maybe in 2023 to Canada again. Watching the vigour return to community members who were drained by the big C, when they get the chance to do what they love again.

SM: Telia's Little Monster (the filmed version) was glorious and it so won The Best in Festival at Melbourne Fringe. I watched it twice in one day. Watching it felt like she was talking directly to me – and so few shows managed that when they did the big pivot. I am booked in for the opening night of her live version. She also accidentally introduced me to the acidentally-vegan yum of Hob Nobs.
 

Review: Little Monster

MELBOURNE FRINGE
Little Monster
Telia Nevile
October 2021
online
melbournefringe.com.au

Telia Nevile. "Little Monster"

My review in Time Out.

What Melbourne Loved in 2018, part 10

Three amazing women today who all work (mostly) in independent theatre.

Emilie Collyer
Playwright, dramaturg and curious human

Emilie Collyer. Photo by Ross Daniels

Favourite moments in 2018
My favourite moment was watching Sheree Stewart's show Pilepileta at Theatre Works as part of Melbourne Fringe. A gut punching and also uplifting piece that was everything Fringe is about for me. New voices. New words. New ways of telling stories.

Other moments that have stayed with me are: Kai Bradley's incredible monologue about violence in Rachel Perks and Bridget Balodis's (double water sign) Moral Panic, Peta Murray's intimate and affecting work vigil/wake at Arts House, the power and devastation of Bighouse Dreaming by Declan Furber Gillick (directed by Mark Wilson), and Janelle Da Silva's unclassifiable and ground breaking show Frankghanistan at the Melbourne comedy festival.

Looking forward to in 2019
The real gems will pop during the year of course. But of things I know about, I am excited to see Queer Lady Magician by Creatrix Tiara. I missed it at Fringe so am thrilled it's having another life at Midsumma. Also looking forward to The Butch Monologues at Theatre Works for Midsumma, Jenny Kemp directing Caryl Churchill's Escaped Alone at Red Stitch and the collaboration between Alison Croggon and The Rabble,  My Dearworthy Darling, at Malthouse.

SM: Emilie's play Contest really needs a second season, but what I love this year about Emilie is that she sees lots of shows. She knows so much about indie theatre in Melbourne because she's out there seeing it and supporting it.


Alia Vryens
One half of comedy duo PickUp

Alia Vyrens. Photo by Jamie Breen, Very Serious Photography

Favourite moments in 2018
Jude Perl's I Have a Face really got me in the guts. The show was light and incredibly skilled. Jude's composition is so unusual and delightful... but really it all boiled down to the last song, which really hit me when she sang about being in a group of your friends and still feeling alone.

I don't often cry in theatre, let alone comedy cabaret, but Telia Nevile's Untitled No. 7 was the show I saw right after Jude's, on the same night. It was a fairy tale about the dangers of being cursed with a knowledge that you are special and deserve to be gifted the golden key to success. This also suckered me in the guts... so many of us independent artists are striving, pushing, working, running, climbing to reach this level of 'success' that I'm not sure everyone really understands. Both of these shows, back to back, made me reassess myself a little, and made me desperate for a wine.

 Zoë Coombs Marr's Bossy Bottom. As an aspiring comedian, I'm in awe of what Zoe did with this show. It was clever and funny and crafty and stupid and intelligent and personal and witty and genius. It was everything that I hope to one day make.

Looking forward to in 2019
My favourite types of performance are when genres are smashed together, when comedy is staged and crafted as intelligently as "real" theatre, and moves and impacts you just as much as something serious. I love it when music can play an integral part of the storytelling, and when the laughs make you think about something new. So, I'm mostly looking forward to the fringe stuff in 2019. I don't get excited by a lot of big shows (honestly, I can't afford to see any of it...),  I'm excited by the independent artists working in festivals or doing it on their own, smashing ideas around and making beautiful things inside incredibly limited budgets.

 But if I have to answer in one sentence? I have to be self-serving and say PickUp's, new show –Nerds are Sexy (for MICF at The Butterfly Club) – and the evolution of our long-running music variety night Funny Music Mondays.

SM: This week's Christmas Funny Music Monday was the just fabulous – seeing Sammy J and Randy back at the B Club was special – and my birthday was on a Monday this year. Being a significant age, there was an assumption that I'd do something and I was never going to get to it. So, a free show with awesomely funny people at a club that serves great cocktails was perfect! Funny Music Mondays is back next year.

Jean Tong
Writer, dramaturg

Jean Tong

Favourite moments in 2018
The Fall at Arts Centre Melbourne. Brilliant, heart-wrenching, relevant. It comes with my favourite Q&A moment that saw the audience being told that white people should hang tight and give POC space to ask their questions first... followed by three white ladies taking up the full Q&A time with zero hesitation. SPACE. Who gets to take it up?

Highlights: seeing Prize Fighter multiple times while audio describing the show; getting drunk and watching the baby onstage disrupt/become the performance in Baby Cake; watching an audience full of Potter fans absolutely losing it for Puffs silliest/funniest gags.

Looking forward to in 2019
Watching Anchuli Felicia King take over Melbourne and Sydney theatre, and inevitably the rest of Australia, too.

Truly Madly Britney by Stage Moms; Mama Alto and Maude Davey's Gender Euphoria; Third Nature by Raina Peterson and Govind Pillai; Beast by Krishna Istha – Midsumma 2019 delivering the goods.

Hopefully seeing the sector take responsibility for its abusive power structures. Not just the big names getting (finally) outed, but the directors who condoned that behaviour, the ADs who prioritise box office over the safety of their employees, a hierarchy which disempowers people from being honest out of fear of reprisal, etc.

SM: Watching Jean develop as one of our most exciting new playwrights has been a highlight for me this year. I saw Romeo is not the only fruit, Hungry Ghosts and After Hero (co-writer). An indie, a main stage and a university show. Each one exploring stories and that are missing from our stages.

But listen to what she says about making space for voices. And do it. Making space means that sometimes some of us have to shut up, even if it's about something we want to scream about. Often,  best way to support is to stand aside and let other people speak.

MELBOURNE FRINGE: Poet Vs. Pageant

Poet Vs. Pageant
26 September 2015
Fringe Hub, Son of Loft
to 3 October
melbournefringe.com.au

Another one that I really loved and am really looking forward to seeing how it develops.

Review in The Age.

And back in 2012, The Poet Laureate still let me write my favourite review ever.

What Melbourne loved in 2013, part 14

Today's moments are from Poet Laureate Telia Nevile, Fringe Laureate Felix Preval and Jordan Prosser, one of the writers of Kids Killing Kids, who was told off by the UN for writing Batallia Royale and popped his Sisters Grimm cherry this year.

Telia Nevile

poet laureate

Photo by Max Mine. I know it's from last Christmas, but how could I resist it.

TELIA: My ultimate show for this year is the Sisters Grimm’s The Sovereign Wife. It just blew me entirely out of the water.  It was truly, utterly, epicly incredible. 

The scope of the show, the vital and deft comedy, the beautiful stage pictures, which leave Tracey Moffat in the dust, the rave scene at the end. It was widescreen, surround sound, technicolour theatre full of detail, nuance, intelligence and humour. I was, and remain, in awe.

Other highlights of the year include:

Post’s appearance at Last Tuesday Society’s Don’s Party. That piece seared itself irrevocably into my brain and while I was half-covering my eyes for a lot of it, its impact was like a freight train.

Nicola Gunn’s In Spite of Myself. Hugely funny and intellectually rigorous; a puzzle box of a theatre show that absolutely fascinated me.

Dan Savage at the Festival of Dangerous Ideas. I am a Savage acolyte; he is amazing and articulate and funny and warm, if you don’t already listen to his podcast then download it immediately. 

Pat Burtscher’s show at the comedy festival. Pat’s take on the world around him is a loving vivisection, and although his shows can be a bit shambolic, when he sticks the dismount it is a fierce kind of joy.

And lastly, on a personal note, I am forever grateful for the chance to appear at Women of Letters. The love in that room made my heart swell till it was too big for my chest and I can say with all true sincerity that it was one of the best afternoons I’ve ever had.

SM: Every Poet Laureate Telia Nevile poem is my favourite, but his year's is her performance at Last Tuesday Society’s Don’s Party. She described the Williamson play and its politics with the kind of wit and intelligence that we crave in our writers, while constructing a Coon, Cabana and pickled onion orange. You don't get classier than that.

Felix Preval

Producer, Festival and Artist Services, Melbourne Fringe

FELIX: Given that it’s a full year’s work in the making for me, the Melbourne Fringe Festival is definitely my annual theatre highlight. 2013 was no exception with an incredible array of works from some of Australia’s (and New Zealand's) most exciting emerging artistic talents. My highlights include: They saw a thylacine, Run Girl Run, Homage to Uncertainty and Black Faggot.

Outside of the Festival, 2013 was a fantastic year for independent theatre with great programs on both sides of the river. If I only had time to gush about one show, it's Sisters Grimm’s The Sovereign Wife for its ambitious scale and sheer audacity. It was one of the best re-tellings of the Great Australian Story ever, as well as provoking near constant, gut-aching laughter and asking a lot of complex and relevant questions about race, sexuality and gender in Australia today. I loved all three hours of it.

SM: The Melbourne Fringe isn't like the Adelaide or the Edinburgh ones. Without big producers trying to make money with proven shows, it's an intimate festival that's still about supporting emerging artists and encouraging artists to take risks with what they make and audiences to take risks with what they see. Felix is often the person who encourages creators and artists to make that first step, to take that risk and to be a part of this festival. I love that.

And see what Felix is looking forward to in 2014 at issimomag.com.

Jordan Prosser

writer, director, member of the Too Many Weapons collective

Photo by Ben Hamey

JORDAN: I think my favourite moment in a theatre in 2013 was during The Rabble's Story of O. I went in having heard all the buzz that it was pretty full on, but I didn't realise how inventive or beautiful the production would be in the depiction of its story; there were moments where I was simultaneously mortified by what was happening on stage, while also revelling in a completely intellectual way at the ingenuity and economy of the theatrical devices at work.

I, and I'm sure a lot of people, have seen the whole gamut of sexual violence in films and shows, more often than not depicted fairly brutally and always quite naturalistically, to the point where you can all-too-easily become numb to it, but The Rabble made it seem more real, and more haunting and sickening than I'd ever imagined possible – using only a bunch of rolling pins and some industrial glad-wrap. And for the most part, everyone was fully clothed.

And the sound design and the fucking script on that thing. Fucking genius.

On the opposite end of the dramatic spectrum, but no less sensational, was Summertime in the Garden of Eden. Having missed out on The Sovereign Wife during the NEON festival (and berating myself for it ever since), I was curious and excited for my Sisters Grimm initiation, and they did not disappoint.

I can't even ... I think ... I think what blew me away about that piece was that it was such an intense clusterfuck of different performative styles, physical and verbal comedy, music, melodrama. There was just so much going on – and yet not once was I ever snapped out of it. It was one of the funniest, sweetest things I've ever seen. I actually could have watched it forever.

Also, The Honeytrap had a really fucking great little show called Scarborough about a teacher-student relationship, where the action was repeated but the genders and roles reversed in the second half. A dead simple premise, but in a beautifully-designed space (I'm glad we're not quite yet done with filling our theatres with sand) and acted pretty flawlessly. It's nice experiencing those plays you would never have read or seen or even heard of if somebody smart hadn't gone out on a limb and programmed it.

And last but not least, I had a fantastic time during MTC's The Beast. There were some really spectacular character performances in there. And I just loved being in that auditorium, surrounded by what you might consider to be your more traditional, mainstagey, MTCish kind of subscriber audience and yet there they all were, absolutely pissing themselves over a joke about fucking a dugong.

The last thing is something I experienced. During the run of our show Kids Killing Kids at Melbourne Fringe, probably the most excellent part of the whole experience was people's immediate reaction to it. And I don't mean reactions in reviews or articles, but rather people physically grabbing us in the bar after the show and sitting down with us, sometimes literally for hours, to talk it through.

I've felt at times like local audiences (Melbourne audiences? Australian audiences? Western audiences? I don't know), while they can be really appreciative of something at the time, maybe lack follow-through; like a sort of what-happens-in-the-theatre-stays-in-the-theatre mentality. But the conversations we were having with people during the Fringe, and even now, proved me wrong. It was very humbling and wonderfully exciting.

SM: Jordon's one of the Kids Killing Kids writers and performers.This show is one of the most favourite of these favourites and created a discussion during the Fringe that I haven't seen before. I was in private and public conversations that ran the gauntlet from "most important piece of theatre ever made" made to "atrocious crap that should never have seen the light of a stage".

I loved this show and I understand every criticism. My moment is easy. I saw it on the opening Friday, before word had got about. I sat in the front row with a very good friend. At the end I hung back to give Glyn (the producer) a hug. My friend went straight outside and I'll never forget the look she gave me when I joined her. I did wonder why she wasn't clapping. No matter what you think about a work, the people next to you are rarely seeing the same show you are.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

Part 11

Part 12

Part 13

Part 14

Part 15

Part 16

Part 17

2012 part 1, with links to the rest

It's a Last Tuesday Tuesday!

Pimp my play: Don's Party
The Last Tuesday Society
30 July 2103 ONLY
Malthouse theatre
malthousetheatre.com.au
Facebook page

Melbourne's Last Tuesday Society are everything that is wonderful and insane about independent theatre in our town.

It's weird, but this month, they are in a grown up theatre, at the Beckett at the Malthouse, for the next in their Pimp My Play series.

How do you pimp a play?

1. Take a play.
2. Divide up the scenes amongst the collaborating artists.
3. Put all the pieces back together in order.
4. Present theatrical equivalent of Frankenstein to horrified/delighted audience.

And the play is Don's Party.

Don's freaking Party! The play David Williamson wrote in 1971 when he wasn't boring. The play about an election night in 1969 where there was a tiny chance that Labor would win. The play with 70s decor and moustaches before they became retro chic. The play that became a film at a time where nuding up was compulsory and gender politics meant voting like your husband and getting back into the kitchen to put some kabana and Coon on a toothpick and poking it into half a pineapple.

Hosted by Richard Higgins and with performers including Bron Battern, Telia Nevile, Matt Kelly and glorious folk from from The Sister's Grimm, post, The Suitcase Royale and I'm trying to kiss you, it may be the best production of a David Williamson play ever.

And if I were David Williamson, I'd hire a private jet to ensure that I didn't miss it.

Buy your tickets HERE. I've bought mine. There may be some at the door, but is it worth the risk?

MICF musts: Bron, Telia and Slutmonster

What are you seeing at MICF tonight or Friday?

I mean,

THIS is what you are seeing at MICF tonight or Friday.

You're going to the Northcote Town Hall. There's a tram stop at the door (or it's easy to park) and if you're really lucky, the Taco Truck might be there for some in-between show nosh.

First show is Sweet Child of Mine at 7 pm with Melbourne contemporary artist Bron and her dad, Jim Batten.

I saw it at the 2011 Melbourne Fringe and loved it a lot. Read rave here. It's even better now. I didn't think I could love it more than I did the first time, but I do.

Maybe it's because now that Jim's performed over 20 times in Perth and Adelaide, he's become a total pro; he has some swish new dance moves and is loving the chance to improvise. I'm still not sure if he understands post-structuralism and how the chicken abortion dance speaks to us, though.

Really, I have no idea why this show isn't sold out.

If you're a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, sibling, cousin, friend, neighbour, workmate or vague acquaintance of an artist, you HAVE to see this.

And if your parents etc have ever come to your shows and told you how "special" you are, you need to make sure that they see it.

I tired to get my mum to see it in Adelaide, but no luck. And she doesn't read the blog because, "I don't understand it".

Next it's Poet Laureate Telia Nevile Live on Air at 9 pm.

At the 2012 Melbourne Fringe, I adored her so much that I wrote her a poem and I still stand by every rhyming couplet.

Again, why is this not sold out? My jaw ached from grinning and she's assured that I can't watch The West Wing without sniggering.

Your final show is Slutmonster and Friends at 10 pm

I've had some odd and inappropriate crushes on performers, but I don't know how anyone can resist Slutmonster's charms.

And by charms, I mean get a pump pack of lube, turn off your gag reflex and make sure you have some Ural sachets.

Slutmonster lives in a hand-painted colourful world that looks like a coral reef, but on second glance leaves you thinking you're in a page from of the super-gorgeous Pop-Up Karma Sutra, but it's more beautiful and delicate and so much sluttier – and fluro. Fluro!

It's here that two hero brothers sing gentle songs about being lost in a land where the tit trees bloom and the cock bushes sway in the wind, and they can't go back to the safety of their cave because one of them jizzed it up so much. Maybe an encounter with the local monster can save them?

With removeable teeth, blue skin, pink fur, cupcake tits and the cuddliest giant fluffy cock, Slutmonster wins libidos in an instant. I've never been so in lust with a monster – and I had a crush on Grover for a long time.

The show's a bit like Sesame Street doing porn with Annie Sprinkle, but so divinely filthy and wrong that it makes Avenue Q look like Disney on Ice and leaves most artistic commentary on gender relations and sexuality feeling as bland as the The Sound of Music.

Slutmonster and Friends is as wrong and depraved as anything can be, but made with an intelligence that leaves it's audiences making sounds that they usually keep hidden. I squeaked at one stage.

If you've never had a multiple laughgasm, this should do it.

PS. Can someone PLEASE go on a first date to this show.

There's a nice version of this on AussieTheatre.com.

And the great news is that Slutmonster runs until 20 April, but there's only two more chances to see this threesome.

What Melbourne loved in 2012, part 8

A week ago, I messaged some artists to see if they had anything to share about theatre this year.

Every day another three or more memories has turned up in my email, without too much prodding. Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who has contributed; those who are friends and those who I've passed in a foyer. It's been a joy.

Today, Telia Nevile explains why her heart nearly burst, Narrelle Harris found more vampires in Melbourne, and I'm glad that James Adler wasn't arrested for walking up and down a plane aisle talking about a b-o-m-b.

Telia Nevile
poet laureate

Not Molly Ringwald

TELIA: My favourite moment was standing backstage at the Last Tuesday Society Xmas Office Party. We were waiting to go on to do the rock eisteddford and were all really excited and buzzy. Gaby was dressed as a sheep and Jodee was a cow; Jof made a very handsome and understated Joseph and Miles was trying on the donkey head which was drooping down over his torso; Matt's rainbow, sparkly loin-cloth was being pinned in place by Bron, who was dressed as Mary; and Vachel was rubbing glitter into his beard and trying not to accidentally inhale it. I stood there looking around and thinking I am so incredibly lucky to be here, to know these people, to be doing this. We went on and performed, the crowd was amazing, the music was pumping, and when the glitter dropped at the end I thought my whole heart was going to burst.

And, the theatricality of the Rally exhibition at the NGV right now really excites me. It's immersive and playful and political but without being didactic; it's persuasive. The current Thomas Demand show also fills me with a special kind of joy. The humour and light and colour that emmanate, and the playlist he has going through the toilets, extending the show out past the traditional space and enhancing the visitor's experience.

SM: No one who saw the Xmas dance will ever forget it and to know how much the performers were enjoying it, makes it even better. Telia's work always makes me grin like a loon and I love using her photos. Then there's delights like her "I'm not Molly Ringwald" series of self portraits, and the Poet Laureate let me write my favourite review of the year.

Narrelle Harris
writer, vampire specialist

NARRELLE: I've been trying to remember the theatre I saw this year! I must say, I just loved the idea of a vampire living in Edinburgh Gardens, which is why I went to see MKA's Triangle, and it was brilliant. I especially loved the bored housewife revelling in the spectacular violence of finally DOING SOMETHING, who confronts (an imaginary) Vince Colossimo in the bloodbath at Piedemontes and ended up with his head being torn off, with the additional comment "he's such a nice man". That was a perfect commentary on middle class existential ennui and the act of making choices, even if they're terrible ones, rather than remain stuck in resentment and inaction.

Narelle's review

SM: Narrelle is another writer from Stage Left who realised early on that the internet is a terrific place for reviews, and she still occasionally reviews on her own blog, Mortal words, when she isn't writing books (like The Opposite of Life: about a nerdy vampire in Melbourne)  or speaking about writing or making awesome apps (like Melbourne Literary: a booky, readery, writery guide to our city of literature).

James Adler
actor, director, writer, producer and anything else he needs to be

JAMES: The strangest and most wonderful ironic creative experience was on the plane on the way to Amsterdam.

As well as touring Charles Dickens performs 'A Christmas Carol', Nela Trifkovic and I have been given the opportunity to tour An Actor Prepares (another review, another). This play is a musical monologue for two or more players about a suicide bomber.

Now Nela and I have been extremely time poor leading up to the tour and so we found ourselves learning lines and rehearsing on the plane. You cannot even begin to imagine how terrifying and how beautiful it was wandering up and down the aisles muttering away at my lines while people stared.

In their gaze I could, of course, sense them saying "what the FUK is this nutter doing"; if only they knew the words being muttered. Language, context and imagination are powerful creatures and this moment will remain my inspiration for our performances in this tour.

SM: I miss too much of James's work because he's always doing something with his company Eagle's Nest Theatre and I don't have enough free nights. Right now they're giving Europe a good Dickens and I so wish I could have been on that plane, but my favourite moment this year was realising that I didn't care and it didn't matter that I couldn't speak German as I watched Thomas Dentler perform. (The company had been collaborating with Theater in der Westentasche from Ulm in Germany.)

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part 3

part 4

part 5

part 6

part 7
part 9
part 10
part 11

Where to find a Ho Ho Ho

It's mid-November, so time to think about Christmas parties. For freelancers and artists who work from home, there's no one giving us free drinks, mince pies and the opportunity to get felt up by the boss, but don't despair as there are a couple of awesome parties for us.

Last Tuesday's Office Christmas Party

Tuesday 27 November
The Shadow Electric at The Abbotsford Convent
$12/$10
and a promise of free booze at 7pm start time
Facey event details

Last year's Last Tuesday party was hot and there weren't even mince pies.

This year, the party is finally accepting its divine origins and heading to the Abbotsfod Convent.

There will be a short performance show hosted by Richard Higgins with the likes of The List Operators, Dr Professor Neal Portenza, Tina Del Twiste, Bron Batten and Poet Laureate Telia Nevile.

But after there will be AUDIENCE KARAOKE!

AND you can sit on Santa's lap (RRR Smart Arts's Richard Watts) and have a photo taken by Max Milne. I predict that my favourite Facey day of the year will be Weds 28 when we all put our Santa pics as our profile.

Finucane & Smith's Christmas Cocktail Party Like No Other

Wednesday 12 December
La Trobe Ballroom at the Sofitel on Collins
$90
with killer cocktails and scrumptious canapes
Facey details

This sold out pretty damn fast last year, and so it should.

A night in a ballroom with posh grub, fancy drinks and underdressed wildness – and you get the bonus warm feeling of knowing you're supporting  Finucane & Smith's 2013 season.

Things that made me smile today

It's a day of overdue assignments, late reviews, medical tests and I've run out of eps of Downton Abbey to distract me, but the interwebs is always here to let me concentrate on things far more interesting than overdue words.

Two things that have made me smile today.

Telia Nevile's photos of herself as Molly Ringwald in John Hughes films.

The series is featured at milkbarmag.com.

The gorgeous Amanda Fucking Palmer lost her voice, but still did her Paris gig, with the help of Twitter, fans and karaoke.

Review: Live On Air With Poet Laureate Telia Nevile

MELBOURNE FRINGE 2012

Live On Air With Poet Laureate Telia Nevile 

28 September 2012

Fringe Hub, Lithuanian Club

to 5 October

melbournefringe.com.au

I'm so not a poet

I can't rhyme for shit

So cheer out loud and thank the gods for Telia Nevile:

the Poet Laureate

We last met her back in high school

full of hope that love would come

and together they'd recite and write

and find words that they could pun

As she grew and travelled

love still slipped from her grasp

A poet's heart is special

it needs a love that lasts

Now she's on our airways

on the illegal pirate dial

It's like a podcast, but for rebels

and guaranteed to make you smile

and laugh, snort and guffaw 

and wipe away good tears

if you're the type who likes to read 

reviews that artists fear

Our poet still resents her normal family

And been on many dates gone wrong

But someone must be listening

to fall for her po-mo love song

Donning frightening fluffy slippers 

and pjs brown and tartin

she broadcasts each night to October 5

from her living room that's spartan

If you still watch Buffy

and fancy Toby or Josh from the telly

This gorgeous show is just for you

and it's directed by Matt Kelly

Come linguists all, you'll love this show

if you're witty, smart or cunning

There's naughtiness and lonely pain

and jokes far better than my punning

It's for everyone who cares for words

who reads, writes or creates

It affirms that grammar always rules

and that we should correct illiterate mates

Don't miss our adored poet

if you scrawl, word process or typewrite

You can buy tickets at the door

or book on the Melbourne Fringe website

And for more wordy love don't miss Wordgasm Smackdown on 6 October, where SM favourites like Ash Flanders, Ben McKenzie and Zoey Dawson will join Telia in a Fight Club with words.

PS: Telia, we need to talk about your use of en dashes.

This appeared on AussieTheatre.com

Last Tuesday's Poet Laureate is Live on Air

It was bloody hot last night, but the hottest spot in town was The Last Tuesday Society's Occupy Xmas: their fourth Christmas spectacular.

If anyone wants to wipe out Melbourne's indie theatre scene, poison the pear cider and gluten-free ale at a Last Tuesday gig.  As it's here that hosts and founders Richard Higgins and Bron Batten assemble the most ridiculously talented (and the most ridiculous) folk around and make them perform for Melbourne's hipsters*.

Everything at the Xmas gig was new material. Some will fade into legend, like:

• The Suitcase Royale's "Merry Christmas You Cunts" song
• Bron's attempt to get snogged
• Max Gilles as Lord Mayor Doyle
• The Sisters Grimm's delicate re-telling of Jack and the Beanstalk.

While others were glimpses of new shows, like:

Live on Air with Poet Laureate Telia Nevile

Last night, Telia warmed my heart with a death metal ode to the apostrope. Typos can be forgiven but if you ever write it's and think it's possessive, you'll never have sex with a writer.

Live on Air is on for four shows the Butterfly Club from Thursday to Sunday. The Poet Laureate's gorgeous world is subtle, intricate and so damn funny that you'll leave in love with words for ever.


* in the original sense of the word and the more recent sense

Melbourne Fringe Launch

You have 19 days to see 230 shows.

Hayley Butcher and Telia Nevile at the Fringe Program Launch 

(pic courtesy Melbourne Fringe)

I think we should have a reality TV show that challenges contestants to see everything in a Fringe program.

I'd watch it.

The Melbourne Fringe program is launched. The guide's on the streets, the web page is live and the app is downloadable.

This year's feast of independent arts runs from 21 September to 9 October, which means that there's less than a month to choose what you're going to see or to get your show ready.

I haven't chosen my shows yet*, so suggestions are welcome.

*Except for FUGLY, cos I am beautiful and Who Me, cos I'm a nerd.

FUGLY: Sixxters Grimm will make you beautiful, if it kills you.

Who, Me.  

Fringe 2010 reviews

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Review: Fran I Am

MICF 2011
Fran I Am
Eva Johansen
10 April 2011
Imperial Hotel
to 24 April
www.comedyfestival.com.au

How can you be a beatnik when your dad's an accountant who loves your mum and spends quality time with you? What a bastard! Poor Fran couldn't be a miserable artist because there was too much love in her comfortable middle class life.

Jazz cat, interpretative mimer and poet Fran is one of the most original characters to emerge from this year's comedy festival. With silent androgynous musician Grüg at her side, she grooves, scats and rhymes her way through her struggle to find enough stuff to hate.

Eva Johansen is best known for her work with gorgeous kabaret toupe The Caravan of Love and as the sultry host of Kunst Ist Scheisse.  Fran would be scared of Madame Eva (and probably write a poem about the dark depths of her cleavage), but she lets Eva combine her room-silencing singing voice (even when she has a cold) with the kind of comic writing and physical performance not usually associated with divas.

Fran's love of all black, berets and glasses ensures that she's nearly at one with our own inner-city hipster set, but her soul is still back in Minnesota in 1961 – a time of tiny waists and pointy boobs – where she fell asleep in Alan Ginsberg's beard and woke up in 2011 Melbourne.

The future isn't what she expected. There are no silver jumpsuits and structuralists like Foucault are now called post modernists. It's a bit too much for any boho poet to understand – and even Yoko Ono refused to help out when Fran spied her ordering sushi in Yoyogi.

With a script overflowing with ejaculating malapropisms, poet-name puns and interactive po mo discussions, the humour is at the far end of the fart-joke to witticism scale, but it's never enough to intimidate.  And, as most Melbourne theatre goers spent years doing their arts degrees, it's nice to see someone acknowledging our dinner party knowledge of American 60s poets, post-structuralist philosophers and Shakespeare.

As a first run show, we know that Fran's story will develop and change. The story could do with a touch more shaping and a stronger conclusion, but with rhymes as wonderfully atrocious as a wearing black and Kerouac, images of garden flamingos and ginger poufs, and Shakespeare in interpretive dance and mime (if only the MTC's Dick 3 was that good..), there's nothing stopping Fran from becoming a festival favourite.

But, local shows sometimes have trouble finding their deserved festival audiences. Sure it's great to see TV favourites in the flesh, but it's so worth taking a risk on a local show. The tickets are cheaper, the venues more intimate and one day you'll be able to brag that you saw them when they were still performing in small rooms.

Sp please pop on your beret and let Fran release your inner bohemian. And, for the perfect poetry double, start your evening with Poet Laureate Telia Nevile in For Whom The Bell Tolls.

This review appears on AussieTheatre.com