Why are mummy bloggers special?

This morning, I had a fight with a dictionary on Twitter.

I love dictionaries and as an editor and writer, The Macquarie is my standard reference because it defines Australian language and incorporates new language quickly.

The annual Macquarie Word of Year survey is asking readers to vote for their favourite new words from 2012. Since 2006, this wonderful competition has made words like flashpacker, bromance and tweet acceptable in Scrabble.

"Mummy blogger" is on this year's list.

Really?

I thought we were over defining profession/job/hobby/interests by our gender or reproductive choices?

So, I asked @MacqDictionary what we call bloggers who aren't mummies.

The big dict answered: "Bloggers. Or if blogger is blogging about a specific subject then can incl the subject eg celeblogger, wine blogger, etc"

Firstly, how many grammar problems are in that tweet? If you tweet on behalf of our national dictionary, get someone to proofread everything you publish. (I'm a freelancer and will do it for a reasonable fee.)

But, back to the issue, Macquarie says that anyone who isn't a woman writing about her life with her children is a "blogger" and that adding an adjective is optional. So why are mummy bloggers so special?

I put mummy blogger with the likes of lady doctor, male nurse, chick lit, women's tennis and actress (yes, I need a whole post on this one); the gender definition acts to belittle.

Mummy blogger came into our vernacular over the last couple of years and is mostly used with quotation marks to be extra condescending and to ensure that "mummy bloggers" aren't confused with serious or real bloggers.

I dare anyone to argue that blogs about the experience of being a parent are not series or real. Or funny or terrific reads for non-mummmies.  And what do we call sites like mamamia.com.au, which started as a mere "mummy blog" and is now one of the most-read online magazines with writers and readers who aren't mummies?

@MacqDictionary also got back to me following a contributing tweet about reporting common usage with: "As a dictionary, we remain unbiased in reporting of language and its use. Common usage is king (or queen)!"

Because a discussion about gendered language is always made more funny by joking about gendered language. How about "Common usage rules"?

But if this were just a simple reporting of common usage, where's food blogger or travel blogger? I'd bet that there are more jokes made about food blogs than mummy blogs.

The common usage of "mummy blogger" is generally offensive and used to undermine the blogger.

According to Macquarie's Dictionary's Facebook page, the dictionary agrees by discussing how when women writers were invited "to have morning tea with Julia Gillard in 2012" it "emerged that not everyone is happy with the label 'mummy blogger' which to some seems to be a bit of a put-down."

So the unbiased dictionary appreciates and understands how even ladies having scones with our lady PM don't dig the term. And I'm pretty sure that a group of non-female writers would have been "invited to meet with the Prime Minister", even if they did have mini-muffins and tea in delicate cups.

I'm with those writers who don't appreciate the put-down. Mummy blogger is commonly used to undermine and separate "mummies" and women from other writers and I'm not happy seeing it in a new word survey by our national dictionary.

Sadly, voting for Word of Year 2012 closes on Friday 1 February, so there isn't really any time to fight to get it removed from the list, but I'm not voting at all this year and I hope that when the results are announced on 6 February that "mummy blogger" loses so badly that it becomes one of those terms that's forgotten as quickly as it developed.

When cunt isn't cool at Midsumma

Why is cunt still the ultimate insult?

I saw two Midsumma plays at La Mama on Friday night: both used "cunt" as their ultimate insult word.

I say and write cunt. I've used it as an insult (about women) and a compliment. One of the best phrases I've heard was someone telling me they were in the middle of a "cunting grant application". I've said cunt in frustration, I've used it sexually (a pussy is a cat and Fanny is a woman called Frances). I've used it to shock and to fit in, but mostly because it's the best word to use at the time.

I don't think cunt's a taboo word because I don't think cunts are disgusting.

Cunts are cool.

I love mine.

What I try to never do is use cunt to insult a man (I call them cocks), but too often I hear cunt used to insult men because it's the worst thing they can possibly be. You may be a poof, but I can insult you more by calling you a cunt, a woman.

Fag Boy and the Married Man and Cock are both plays about intolerance and cunt is only used three times over both, but that was enough to make me raise my eyebrows and scowl.

I don't think either writer was even aware of their hypocrisy.  Fag Boy screams about the pain of word choice and one of the stronger moments in Cock is a man saying how anal sex doesn't make you a girl and that being a girl is not the worst thing you can be.  (Although it might be a winner to say "woman", especially as it follows a list of men compared to a list of boys.)

Despite all our reclaiming and See-you-next-Tuesday-ing, cunt is so ingrained as the worst word that it's used too often without realising what it means to call someone a cunt.

So what are some better words that are really vile?

Hangover spew, burst hemaroid, rotting roadkill, month old lumpy milk, Alan Jones, Tony Abbott, Kyle Sanderlands, the NRA, Westboro Baptists, the Australian Christian Lobby?

No, they're not bad enough. We need a word that there's no coming back from because of the hate and fear and grossness it represents.

So, the next time you go to use cunt as an insult, please substitute "myki".


(If you don't live in Melbourne,  Google myki and be prepared for some impressive complaints.)

PS. I tried to find a pic of the Girlesque show that has a back drop of C-U-N-T in giant gold letters, but  I couldn't find a search phrase that helped.

What is it Maria you cunt face?

I’ve had a profound moment of self-realisation: It all comes down to cunt.

No, I haven’t metamorphosed into a teenage boy (or a 20-, 30-, 40-, 50-, 60-, 70-, 80- or 90- something straight bloke), or made any definitive jump over the sexual preference fence.

I have comedians to thank. Melbourne is full of comedians this month. Securing a spot in the Melbourne International Comedy Festival is quite simple. You register, pay your fee, book your venue, write your show, get people to come along and make sure you comply with the registration clause that insists you use the word 'cunt' at least once in your act.

There’s a disproportional amount of power in that short word. Having seen some successful  and some utters in the last week, I now know how I really judge people.

It’s quite simple really. No longer do I have to analyse their political opinions, assess their film knowledge, ascertain their favourite Buffy character or test their ability to tell a Barossa semillon from a McLaren Vale wooded chardonnay.

If someone can and does use the word well – I like them. If they use the word offensively, ignorantly or unwisely – I don’t want to share an oakey white with them as we watch progressive teen dramas (or Deadwood).

Reclaiming
In my formative years, I never used "the c word", despite my propensity to embrace expressive language. (Family legend tells that I told my aunt to fuck off when I was two.) However, I disliked anyone who said "that word" or even thought it. That word was as offensive and as poof, fag, dyke or nigger.

In a very few years we have seen words move from heinous to powerful statements to descriptive. You can’t demean someone by calling them the name they call themselves. (I’ve even come around to calling myself a chick.) Certainly, some people still use these words to offend – but I don’t like them.

Insult
Does this reclaiming of cunt mean I’m happy with hearing a man refer to his female companion as, “that bloody cunt”? Of course not.

Calling someone a cunt is still regularly viewed as the most disgusting, vile, horrendous, offensive thing you can name. I don’t think cunts (or cocks) are intrinsically offensive. Calling someone a cock can be friendly ribbing. It’s a bit naughty, but you can always tone it down to dick, knob, prick or, as Hugh Grant so eloquently said in Four Weddings and a Funeral, a total penis.

Some use cunt because of its taboo nature (it is the naughtiest of the naughty words). There are people who call men cunts to ensure they know they are so much worse than mere pricks and call women cunts to remind them how worthless we are.

Others use cunt superbly. They understand that the word can be laced with irony or power and it’s clear that they do indeed admire, respect and love cunts.

I try to be gender specific in my genital based insults. Women are cunts; men are cocks, pricks, dicks, knobs or total penises. Although, now that I think about it, I can’t remember actually calling a woman a cunt. I may have reclaimed it, but it can still cause undue offence. I tend to stick to gender-neutral insults. Poo brain covers most situations and everyone has an arsehole.


Cunts and sex
(If you found this page googling – you’re probably disappointed. You can stop looking for the link to the page with pictures.)

I don’t have a pussy, a fanny, a love mound, a honey pot or sex bits (an ex of mine used that one - at least it was gender neutral). Depending on the context, I have a vagina, a clitoris, a labia (majora and minora) – or a cunt.

“My meerkat would really like to play with your pussy.” There is no male equivalent of pussy. If men talked about their cute little hamster or wanted us to stroke their guinea pig, I’d probably think differently.

There is something about cock and pussy that doesn’t work. One implies power, the other passivity. (And why don’t we have hens or chooks?) Cock and cunt are strong, active (and interactive) words.

I’m not saying we should all be screaming “cunt” in our intimate moments. There isn’t always the need to be that verbally specific. I use it because I don’t like the alternatives (any suggestions are welcome). If you refer to my pussy – I assume that the cat is on the bed. And what type of sicko wants to eat a cat?

I don’t go round throwing “cunt” into conversations willy-nilly, but when the time is right – I no longer blush and say it with pride. If I hear you saying it to cause offence or to degrade - I think you’re a poo brain.