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27 March 2019

Review: Muriel's Wedding

Muriel's Wedding: The Musical
Global Creatures in association with Sydney Theatre Company
23 March 2019
Her Majesty's Theatre
to 16 June
murielsweddingthemusical.com


"Muriel's Wedding". Melbourne. Photo by Jeff Busby

A new Australian musical. A phrase full of so much hope and an equal amount of fear; goodness, we've seen some duds. A musical adaption of a film. A phrase full of ... yep, we've seen them, too.  Muriel's Wedding: The Musical is both and, as Muriel and Rhonda would say, it's fucking amazing, and, legit, one of the coolest shows I've seen.

And it's ours. It feels like us, looks like us, bloody sounds like us and might be the show that runs all over the world.

In 1994, PJ Hogan's film Muriel's Wedding was an unexpected hit. If you haven't seen it, you should because a lot of the love for this musical comes from knowing, loving and referencing the film. Future productions may be able to step away from the source, but not yet.

With Hogan adapting his film script and working closely with director Simon Phillips and all the collaborators, it's far from a stage version of the film. It updates the story – you know it – to today with sad and lonely Sunshine-coaster millennial Muriel being as obsessed with social media as she is with ABBA. It expands some characters, especially Betty (Muriel's mum) and Brice (Muriel's first pash) and changes enough to make it a story about now; although, it would be even cooler to lose the 1990's race jokes and have a few less fat jokes.

Most importantly, it takes the story off the subtle screen, where silence, close ups and subtext bring us into character's heads, and into a world that lets us in with song and theatricality. Here, ABBA are out of Muriel's imagination and in her life as guardian angels, who don't always know what's best for her; Brice climbs to the top of Sydney to send a text; and Betty can dance as she makes her heart breaking choice.

"Muriel's Wedding". Melbourne. Photo by Jeff Busby

The first welcome into the world is Gabriela Tylesova's design. The stage is solid-block bright colours that let the action focus to a bedroom and expand to a city – the Sydney Harbour Bridge has never looked better on a stage. And it's framed with a proscenium of fuchsia-pink leaves and petals that could be tongues, scattered with mobile phones to share Insta pics.

While the stage is blocks of colour, the costumes are full of detail so intricate that the only the person who can see it all is the person wearing it. Each design – there are about 360 costumes – starts with character and immediately lets the audience know everything about them. You might not be able to see the detail of her unique shoes  – her shoe designs! –, but you'll never be distracted because everyone is wearing scuffed black show shoes.

Every costume is perfectly a bit too much. Think 1980s Ken Done tea towels and 2010s Lisa Gorman dresses – but with much cooler detail and the colour and pattern turned up. The bridal frocks all have two, or 20, too many frills; the florals are a bit too floral; the boardies would look too much on an end-of-year team trip to Bali – even the 1970s ABBA jump suits are a bit too white. They are all magnificent.

The genius choice though was Kate Miller-Heidke (I loved her music for The Rabbits and let's not forget that she's the representing Australia in this year's Eurovision) and Keir Nuttall for the music and lyrics. (They are also partners in real life and their first baby was born during the workshop process).

Their music doesn't try to to sound like a musical. Here, music and songs don't tell the story, they take us into the hearts of the characters. In theatre, in life, in our showers and cars, we sing what we can't say, and in great musicals, every song brings us closer to the characters' truths. The Porpoise Spit girls sound like the commercial pop they love, Muriel is the heightened emotion of 80s ABBA without the succinctness of their lyrics, Nuttall describes Muriel's father Bill as sounding like a "Rolling Stones tribute act playing in the Twin Towns casino" – and he does! Because the songs start with character, it always feels natural when they sing and the music never pulls the show away from the story.

"Muriel's Wedding". Melbourne. Photo by Jeff Busby

Throw in lyrics that are better than over hearing conversations on trains, ABBA songs by ABBA,  Miller-Heidke bringing in extra for sopranos to shine, and the bonus of Andrew Hallsworth's choreography that's equally as school disco as it is slick, and, well, I'm happy that my current ear worm is a song called "Sydney".

There's plenty being written about the awesomeness of the cast and they are all spot on. With a mostly new cast from the original Sydney Theatre Company show, the production is open to personal interpretations. Our new Muriel (Natalie Abbott) and Rhonda (Stefanie Jones) are already so different from the original cast (the soundtrack is free on Spotify) that it's going to be easy to want to see every cast change over the years. Everyone is bonza, but highlights include Pippa Grandison (who was Porpoise Spit Nicole in the film) as Betty, and Christie Whelan Brown as wonderful queen bitch Tania.

Muriel's Wedding is spectacular but never relies on spectacle. It's as daggy as a backyard engagement party, but as complex as trying to describe the perfect pavlova. It's as Aussie as pineapple on pizza (the best), beetroot in a burger (also the best) and hot chips eaten at sunset at the beach with seagulls stalking you for left overs.

19 October 2018

Melbourne Festival: A Ghost in My Suitcase

MELBOURNE FESTIVAL 2018
A Ghost in My Suitcase
Barking Gecko Theatre
18 October 2018
Playhouse, Arts Centre Melbourne
to 21 October
www.festival.melbourne

"A Ghost in My Suitcase". Barking Gecko Theatre

I've worked in the arts for ever because in the 1970 and 80s, my family took me to shows at festivals in Adelaide; some weren't for kids. There's been some wonderful shows and experiences that kids and enjoy with their grown ups this festival – the Lexicon circus, Fire Gardens or the delightfully creepy (and affordable) 1000 Doors – with the highlight being the premiere of Barking Gecko's A Ghost in My Suitcase.

The Perth based company make exquisite theatre for children that never excludes adults. One of my favourite shows last year was their Bambert’s Book of Lost Stories at Arts Centre Melbourne and I loved The Rabbits at MIAF 2015.

Playwright Vanessa Bates adapted Gabrielle Wang's novel, which won the 2009 Aurealis Award for Best Children’s Novel.

Celeste (Alice Keohavong) is 12 and arrives at the Shanghai airport where she's met by Por Por (Amanda Ma), her mother's mother. Celeste's mum has recently died and Celeste has left her little brother and French dad in Australia to take for mum's ashes back to the Isle of Clouds in China where her mum was born. Things don't go well when she meets Ting Ting (Yilin Kong), her grandmother's adopted daughter, but that's not as weird as finding out that Por Por is a ghost catcher. Or that Celeste might have the same ghost catching skills that are passed down maternal lines and that she'll need them when they go back to the family home.

The combination of projection – from the crowds of Shanghai to a boat ride through a rural village – puppetry (design, Zoe Atkinson; lighting, Matthew Marshall), live action and martial arts brings the story to life in a recognisable world where fantasy and the super natural feel natural and real.

Co-directors Ching Ching Ho and Barking Gecko's Artistic Director Matt Edgerton always find the heart of the story and its characters and make sure that the story of grief and letting go leads even when there are angry ghosts to fight and lives are in danger. It’s a little bit scary but so full of love and loving characters that the scary is fun.

23 December 2015

What I loved in 2015: The Best of Melbourne Theatre

Wow, the pile of January invites is already intimidating. But I can't eat fruit cake and drink fizz until I decide what shows I loved the most this year.

Over 200 shows to choose from and I still missed that many again that I wish I'd seen. Melbourne, you really are most excellent in so many ways. (And if you could fix Punt Road, I'd be more likely to venture over to the north side to see even more shows.)

Apologies for not running the What Melbourne Loved series this year. Although it is my favourite series on this blog... Let's come back next year.

Choosing winners has been unreasonably difficult this year. To save my own sanity (how could I not mention X!), there are more special mentions than usual.

A few past winners are on the list again  – Declan Greene and Paul Jackson have won the most over the years – but there are exciting new names, some oldies who I can't believe haven't made it before, and a couple awards for stuff that wasn't in Melbourne. And it hopefully demonstrates that "no review" doesn't mean a show wasn't amazing.


Outstanding Artists 2015

WRITING


Shit. Nicci Wilks, Peta Brady and Sarah Ward. Photo by Sebastian Bourges

Patricia Cornelius for Shit,  Dee & Cornelius, MTC NEON

Angus Cerini for The Bleeding Tree, Griffin Theatre Company (Sydney)

Special mentions

Declan Greene for I Am a Miracle, Malthouse

Penelope Bartlau for Psychopomp & Seething, Barking Spider Visual Theatre & MUST at La Mama

DESIGN


Love and Information. Photo by Pia Johnson

Paul Jackson (lighting) for Love and Information, Malthouse.
(And how amazing was the James Turrell exhibition in Canberra! And the installation at Mona.)

Ryan. Photo by Sarah Walker

Nathan Burnmeister (design), Brendan Jellie (lighting) and Raya Slavin (sound) for Ryan at La Mama

Special mention


Psychopomp. Photo by Sarah Walker

Bronwyn Pringle (lighting) for Songbirds and Angels at La Mama

Jason Lehane (design) for Psychopomp & Seething, Barking Spider Visual Theatre & Must at La Mama.


PERFORMANCE



L'Amante Aglaise. Jillian Murray & Robert Medrum 

Jillian Murray
and Robert Medrum in L'Amante Anglaise at La Mama

Die Sieben Todsunden. Meow Meow. Photo by Charlie Kinross


Meow Meow in Die Sieben Todsunden, Victorian Opera

Special mentions

Shari Sebbens, Paula Arundell, Airlie Dodds in The Bleeding Tree, Griffin Theatre Company 

Nicci Wilks, Peta Brady and Sarah Ward in Shit,  Dee & Cornelius, MTC NEON

Steve Gome in Johan Padan and the Discovery of the Americas, Hoy Polloy at 45 Downstairs

Emily Milledge in Antigone, Malthouse


DIRECTION

Susie Dee for Shit,  Dee & Cornelius, MTC NEON

Peter Sellars for Desdemona Melbourne Festival, UnionPay International

Special mention

Daniel Lammin for Ryan at La Mama

Beng Oh for The Yellow Wave, 15 Minutes from Anywhere at The Butterfly Club

BEST FESTIVAL




Dark Mofo (Hobart)

Special mention

The Container Festival, MUST


EVERYTHING THEY DO ROCKS

The Listies


The Listies. Matt Kelly & Rich Higgins

No one makes me laugh like The Listies (Matt Kelly and Richard Higgins). The happiest audiences I have ever sat in have been at Listies' shows. They are so brilliant that I couldn't find enough stars, if I had to do so.

The Listies Ruin Christmas at Malthouse left me in pain. I tried to get my theatre date for the night, Lun (7), to give me some quotes but when I asked him what were his favourite bits, he could only narrow it down to "All of it". And "Where's Matt?".

They let kids be excited about being naughty and make sure they are always in on the joke. Even though there are plenty of laughs for the accompanying groan ups, the kids are never left out or talked down to. If they were around when I was 8, I would have cut their photo out of a magazine and glued it to my wall. (I really did glue a magazine photo of Mark Holden to my wall once; Mum wasn't impressed.)

This year they also released Ickypedia, which is the funniest book in the history of books. Really. Funniest book ever! (And I have read Good Omens and Monty Python's Big Red Book.)

Special mention

Nicola Gunn/SANS HOTEL


Piece for Person and Ghetto Blaster. Nicola Gunn. Photo by Sarah Walker

Nicola Gunn's theatre is astonishing. It's work that somehow takes you out of your brain and into a place that's all feeling, while your brain is working in the background repairing broken thought patterns and creating better ones.

This year we saw A Social Service at Malthouse and the Piece for Person and Ghetto Blaster at Arts House Melbourne.

Outstanding Productions 2015

CABARET


The Orchid & the Crow. Daniel Tobias. Photo byAndrew Wuttke


The Orchid & the Crow, Daniel Tobias and team, Button Eye Productions


Special mention

Changeling, Camille O'Sullivan at Arts Centre Melbourne

COMMERCIAL SHOW
I liked some, but none were a favourite.


MUSICAL


Sweet Charity. Photo by Jeff Busby


Sweet Charity, 
Luckiest Productions, Neil Gooding Productions, Tinderbox Productions, Arts Centre Melbourne

Special mention

In The Heights, StageArt

Avenue Q, Trifle Theatre Company

COMEDY


Womanz. Tessa Walters

Womanz, Tessa Walters

Special mentions

Catchy Show Title, Dr. Professor Neal Portenza

Beau Heartbreaker, Selina Jenkins

Donkey, Hannah Gadsby

Ghost Machine, Laura Davis

DANCE


32 Rue Vandenbranden. Photo by Herman Sorgeloos

32 Rue Vandenbranden, Peeping Tom; Melbourne Festival


OPERA


Fly Away Peter. Photo by Zan Wimberly

Fly Away Peter, Sydney Chamber Orchestra, Arts Centre Melbourne, Melbourne Festival

Special mention

The Rabbits, Melbourne Festival, Arts Centre Melbourne, Opera Australia, Barking Gecko, West Australian Opera, Perth International Arts Festival


LIVE ART


The Ministry. Photo by Anna Nalpantidis

The Ministry, MUST, Kin Collective


BEST OF THE BEST

Fag/Stag, The Last Great Hunt

Shit, Dee & Cornelius; MTC NEON

The Bleeding Tree. Shari Sebbens, Paula Arundell, Airlie Dodds. Photo by Brett Boardman

The Bleeding Tree, Griffin Theatre Company (Sydney)

Bronx Gothic, Okwui Okpokewasili; Melbourne Festival, PS122, Arts House Melbourne

YOUARENOWHERE, Andrew Schneider; Melbourne Festival, PS122, Arts House Melbourne



MY FAVOURITE SHOW OF 2015


Oedipus Schmeodipus Zoe Coombs Marr & Mish Grigor

Odeipus Schmoedipus by post at Arts House Melbourne


11 October 2015

MELBOURNE FESTIVAL: The Rabbits

The Rabbits
Melbourne Festival, Arts Centre Melbourne, Opera Australia, Barking Gecko, West Australian Opera, Perth International Arts Festival
10 October 2015
Arts Centre Melbourne, Playhouse
to 13 October
www.festival.melbourne



The Rabbits is an hour-long opera based on a 1998 children's picture book. Its Melbourne Festival season is sold out and as the Playhouse exploded with joy at the end of last night's performance, it's clear that this remarkable new Australian opera is going to be around for a very long time.

Adapted and directed by Barking Gecko's John Sheedy, it's a co-production with Opera Australia in association with WA Opera and was commissioned by the Perth and Melbourne festivals. Ostensibly an opera for children, it’s an amazing introduction to the form and sound of opera – and the many children who saw it were mesmerised  – but its levels of complexity and understanding never excludes an adult audience.

The original book is a 32-page, 228-word analogy about English-style rabbits invading and colonising a country of marsupials. It won awards, has been published all over the world, and remains a best seller and favourite book with John Marsden's powerful words and Shaun Tan's exquisite illustrations, which can’t be seen without finding something new. This production captures the heart and essence of the book and brings it to stage by creating characters from a story that doesn't have characters.

It begins with the introduction of a narrator, a white bird inspired from the brolgas on the end pages (the decorative pages inside the cover) and is told through five marsupials (Hollie Andrew, Jessica Hitchcock, Lisa Maza, Marcus Corowa and David Leha) and five rabbits (Kanen Breen, Nicholas Jones, Christopher Hillier, Simon Meadows and Robert Mitchell). Images like the steam-punk-like bike the rabbits enter on, handing a cog to the marsupials, and a lizard in the test tube are moments that are easy to miss on the pages but have become the turning points and drive of the stage story.

Lally Katz incorporates the Marden's sparse text into the libretto and lets the characters, who are inspired by the illustrations, tell their personal stories and do what they can’t do in the book: reflect on their actions.

Kate Miller-Heidke's composition and Iain Grandage's arrangements and additional music is welcoming to new ears and to opera buffs, who can spot the references. The combination of English-style opera and a more contemporary music-theatre style celebrates the sound and form of opera, while never being afraid to embrace music that isn’t associated with old-style opera.

Without trying to capture the endless complexity of the illustrations, Gabriela Tylesova's design takes details and makes them so real that it feels like walking into the world of the book. The mask and costumes for the marsupials and rabbits look like Tan's creatures but allow the performers to be seen (similar in style to Julie Taymor's Lion King design). And with lighting designer Trent Suidgeest, the scene where the babies fly away on kites is almost too much to bear.

With the September release of the National Opera Review, there's a lot of discussion about the value of opera as a form and of the ongoing existence of Australia's subsidised opera companies.

Then along comes The Rabbits. This is an Australian story made with Australian voices that shows how wonderful Australian opera can be. Along with last year’s co-production of The Riders by Victorian Opera and Malthouse Theatre, it's time to be excited about opera in Australia and time to stop asking if opera has a place, but to ask why our resources aren't being used to make more productions like this.

This was on AussieTheatre.com.

The Rabbits. Melbourne Festival. Photo by Jon Green

12 July 2013

Magic Festival reviews

In 2008, The Australian Institute of Magic founded The Melbourne Magic Festival. There are 40 shows at this year's festival, at the Northcote Town Hall, and many are sold out.

Who doesn't love magic and I've never seen this town hall so crowded with happy punters.

During the day, there are plenty of school-holiday shows and at night there are family shows and ones just for adults.

The full program is at melbournemagicfestival.com.

(And yes, some serious wand waving needs to be done to make the website easier to use.)


Beat the Cheat
Nicholas J Johnson and Ben McKenzie
11 July
Northcote Town Hall
to 13 July



Giant dice, a community chest full of secrets and a board game big enough to walk on! Cool.

BUT to win, you have to beat Nicholas J Johnson, Australia's honest conman, magician and self-confessed dirty rotten cheat. It's not as impossible as it seems, especially as host Ben Mackenzie (who can quote the Dungeon and Dragons rule books) might be on your side.

The audience is split into two (I was on the Not Red team) and individuals play for the team (I would have volunteered if Scrabble, Mastermind or Mousetrap had come up). There are dozens of games that are chosen by the air toss of giant dice and Nick knows the rules for every one – and how to bend them.

With magic, games and nerdiness, Beat the Cheat is more fun than Star Wars Angry Birds or a Hungry Hungry Hippos marathon. And it reminds us that games are so much better when you play with real people instead of a screen. Who wants to come around and play Monopoly?

PS. The Not Red team lost by one point because a Red team member realised that it would be ridiculous to not cheat.


In Dreams
Tim Ellis
11 July
Northcote Town Hall
to 13 July


Magic shows are often put in their own category that brings up images of RSL clubs, kids parties and men in capes with awkward young women in sequins. A trip to the Melbourne Magic Festival will banish such regressive and dull thoughts (or at least restricted them to RSL clubs), because this festival is full of magicians and artists who are letting the hat rabbits run free and taking illusion to far more interesting places.

Tim Ellis is the Artistic Director of the Melbourne Magic Festival, he's won prestigious magic awards and is presenting two of his own shows at the festival.

If you're s a grown up who's stopped believing in magic, his 9 pm show, In Dreams, could change your mind.

In Dreams is about unrequited love and never giving up. Ellis is silent and bare foot as he tells a simple and heartwarming story about being in love and losing that love. He uses the same tricks that are seen in most shows, but adds original twists and their place in the story is more important than the illusion.

The result is a personal and moving story of heartbreak and hope told though flawless magic and the kind of love that defies illusion.

Make your parents disappear
Luke Hocking and Alex da la Rambelje
9 July 2013
Northcote Town Hall
to 12 July


It's tough to argue with a 5-year-old, but I have no reason to disagree with my theatre companion, Ella, who thought the best bit of Make your parents disappear was when they "went outside for no reason", but generally thought it was "really good".

So good that she convinced her mum that she needed their magic book so she could learn some tricks at home and impressed me all afternoon by pulling a plastic pink ring out of my ear.

Magic rocks! Luke and Alex are best-known for their adult shows as two thirds of A Modern Deception, but once they were in grade 5 and grade 3 at magic school and didn't want to go to bed when their mum told them to. They know some tricks, but need something spectacular to keep them out of bed. Luckily the audience suggest that they could make their parents disappear!

As the kids (3–10) sit on the ground and the groan ups sit on chairs, Alex and Luke need help from the audience to do their tricks – and they tend to attract an extremely talented audience – without forgetting that those up the back need to be entertained and are usually determined to see how a trick is done. With these two, they might start believing that it really is magic.

Make your parents disappear is super fun and magictacular. I'd go so far to disagree with Ella and say that it's "really, really good".


The Lucian Swift Chronicles: A tale of magic in Melbourne
Barking Spider Visual Theatre
6 July 2013
Northcote Town Hall
to 6 July


The Flinders Street Station lost and found room used to be in the clock tower. Here collected bags, boxes, brollies and cases that were lost by travellers coming to and leaving Melbourne. Some were united with their owners and some were left to collect dust, unable to tell their story because their person was missing.

A young woman looks through the lost and found treaures. We don't know if she's looking for something she lost, but she finds an old case that belonged to Lucian Swift, the Gentleman Trickster. Trying on his tails and top hat, she discovers his secrets and releases some of his stories that were lost and hidden for so many years.

With alchemy akin to ice cream and sprinkles, magician Jo Clyne worked with director Penelope Bartlau and members of Barking Spider to create this captivating show that combines magic with story and sends love back though Melbourne's history.

It's festival run was short, but let's hope that we see it again – and how amazing would it be to see it performed in Flinders Street Station.


PS. Until seeing this show, it hadn't occurred to me just how many magicians are men and was told how difficult it is to buy magic props for women. Hmmm.  To help fix this balance, I've already taken a 5-year-old girl to see a show and she's promised to show me a trick the next time I see her.

Lucien photos by Sarah Walker




02 April 2010

Review: God is Bullshit: That's the Good News

MELBOURNE INTERNATIONAL COMEDY FESTIVAL 2010
God is Bullshit: That's the Good News
Catherine Deveny
31 March 2010
Trades Hall


It's unlikely you'll be sitting next to a Christian at Catherine Deveny's God is Bullshit, but you will find those who watched Dawkins V Fielding on Q&A and still have their jaws on the ground.

Deveny was brought up so Catholic that even their windscreen wipers didn't have rubbers and she happily ticked Catholic on her census forms, until reverting to atheism at 38. She didn't have a crisis of faith or remembered being fingered by a priest; she started telling her children about their family's faith and saw glaring consistency issues and a morality that went against too much of what she believed.

Her born again atheism comes with the passion of someone struck on the head by the bloody obvious, who is happy to scream to the world that she was wrong. Like ex-smokers, there is none as willing to talk about their reversion as one who used to believe. (As an ex-animal-eater, I know that desire to preach.) Given the age, intelligence and education of her audience, Dev is preaching to the choir, but who doesn't like hearing their beliefs affirmed?

I haven't read the Christian Bible properly, but I do read Deveny's columns religiously. (Don't tell her that I meet with friends on Sundays and we read her book and sing.) Her columns are one of the few reasons left to read The Age and her writing, attitude and ability to insult knobheads continue to inspire me. And,  just like her, I don't believe everything she writes either.

It's odd how people believe that written in print stuff must be true. Just between us, writers sometimes bend the truth to tell a better story or make a point ... and ... some even make stuff up! Gospel truth really means that you can write anything and someone will believe you. Religious writings really have a lot to answer for.

Like Ms D, I went to a religious school, but we were Anglicans – who are kind of like Catholics, but without the guilt and the virgin fetish, and we were allowed to be alter chicks (I was), use condoms (I do) and lithurgical dance was optional (I didn't).  I also won a series of Religious Education prizes. It wasn't because I wanted Jesus to make me a sunbeam; it was because I'd win a book voucher if I drew good pictures of camels, needles and burning bushes. The book vouchers were for the university bookshop, so I was able to use my faux-faith bounty to further my mind.

Even with its abundance of contradictions, Christianity doesn't offend me. Some of my best friends ... Really. Faith gives many people comfort and hope and perhaps a belief in miracles is better than a belief in alcohol or Tony Abbott. (According to the gospel according to Facebook, one of my friends believes in TA. Never say terrific people, can't have odd beliefs.)

Avoiding the obvious arguments of sexism, xenophobia, homophobia and war mongering, think of all the fabulous stories that would never have been without religious guilt, faith or characters. Neil Gaimen and Terry Pratchett might have had to write a book about earthworms.

And Christianity lets me be god-damned lazy when it comes to language. Jesus may have been a top bloke, but he's useful with an explanation mark. Without the phrase "Oh my fucking god", I would have had to yell "Oh dear, this gets the adrenalin flowing" when I had the bejesus scared out of me on the bungy ride at Moomba. Without our Judeo-Christian morality, perhaps fuck wouldn't be a swear word and no one would blink at cunt, gay and anal because we'd live in a society where sex and sexuality were accepted.

Which leaves the most convincing pro-Christian argument. I let Saint Catherine stamp "God is Bullshit" on my wrist so that I could touch her robes and because she was giving us an Easter egg with our stamp. Chocolate shaped like an egg and wrapped in shiny foil is brilliant. And without egg-shaped chocolate, we may not have the more-wonderful rabbit/bilby-shaped chocolate. I know Easter was a pagen spring festival long before the Christians hijacked it - but dammit, the Christians made it popular thus ensuring that choccy goodness fills our supermarket shelves from the day after Christmas. I can live without religion, but if it meant no more Haighs chocolate bilbies or Lindt rabbits, well I just don't want to think about it.

This review appears on AussieTheatre.com.

07 January 2010

Down on the farm

I have work to do; honest work that people will give me EFT coins in exchange for my skills – but I’m not doing it because I'm having trouble fitting a carousel into my circus area.

I used to be paid to do such tasks. I’ve planned the position of carnival rides, tents and food stalls; written their contracts; assessed their risk management plans; and worn unattractive ‘staff’ t-shirts as I watched people enjoy themselves.

So why was I excited that I scored a free merry-go-round on Farmville today? (Thanks Jane for the mystery egg.)

Yes, I’m one of those despised Facebook friends who clog up feed with news that they’ve picked a perfect bunch of morning glory or found a stray pink cow that needs adopting. I am a King of Compost and I don’t care that Farmville doesn’t recognise its female or queen players.

Oh, I resisted at first. I scoffed when I saw intelligent friends wasting their precious time on a lame game. Then a sad looking cow tweaked my need to feed stray animals. I adopted her (thanks Shan) and I’m terrified to calculate how many hours I’ve spent on the farm since.



Oh, I justify it. When I made a Halloween display, I was just warming up my right brain for some creative work and proceeded to make fictional characters discuss their Farmville antics (it will be the last paragraph I cut).

I’ve learnt what sugarcane is meant to look like, that rice takes 12 hours to grow and that eggs sometimes hatch garden gnomes and fun fair rides. This must be good stuff to know that will expand my mind and help me in the future?



Damn it, Farmville is pure addiction and if you’re already there, I’ll be your neighbour and gift you an elephant topiary; if you’re not – run. Run as fast as you can away from the farm. Block it (right click on the FB feed and say be gone false farm), go to your FB settings and ban Farmville, Fishville, Café World, Yoville, Petville and any other villes that offer their gorgeous animated selves to you.

If your children or friends are deciding between taking up smoking or playing Farmville...smoking may be easier to give up and at least they will leave the computer and walk to the shops to buy cancer sticks instead of buying CGI fruit and veg. But if they were fake farmers, perhaps they would be inspired by their bounteous fake produce and want to buy patty pan squash or artichokes...

I’ll be their neighbour.


BTW, my carousel is well placed, but I do have some concerns about its proximity to the tree line, the available public exit in case of fire and that the rabbits running around it may chew on the power cords.