12 October 2012


We know that I'm not good at the Twitter, but #turnyourfuckingphoneOFF

I had a bit of a rant* today about people using their phones in the theatre.

There was many a bored person at After Life last night and the more polite ones left. The rest made sure we knew they were bored by using their phones. Guess what, that light is a bit distracting. And, it's just so rude!

Following Chris Boyd's lead, I'm all for naming and shaming.

So, along with Stalls C31and D29, I add Circle M22 for time checking from 9.15 onwards and N26/27 for deciding to read her program by the light of her phone.

*I don’t care how fucking bored you are, TURN YOUR GODDAM PHONE OFF IN THE THEATRE.

Let’s start something. Next time you’re in a theatre, before the show starts, have a chat to the people next to you. As theatre goers, they are probably someone you’d like to talk to, but after chatting about wine and seeing if you have better seats that B-list celebs in the audience, ask to see their smart phone, compare it to yours and have a competition to see whose turns OFF the fastest. If they don’t play the game, grab their phone and sit on it until after the applause. If it vibrates, that’s a bonus for you. If you HAVE to check the time; get a watch.


  1. Quacking duck phone at Orlando...

    I think the new rule should be, if your phone rings, you buy everyone who glared at you a drink after the show. AND buy the performers a nice present.

  2. An Enemy of the People on Sunday, N 26 (?), second from end. Phone checking. That magic light isn't hidden in your handbag.