MICF: Keep – Daniel Kitson

MICF
Keep
Daniel Kitson
21 April 2019
Coopers Malthouse – Merlyn
to 21 April
comedyfestival.com.au

Daniel Kitson

I was always going to finish MICF with Daniel Kitson. It was tempting to go earlier, but it's hard to follow Kitson.

He doesn't do media or have a media night any more, even if some review him anyway. Instead he does lots of shows in a good-sized theatre and sells tickets at an accessible price. I don't think there were many spare seats for the entire season, and everyone I spoke to who saw it said that I had to see it and that they weren't going to say any thing about it. And that's without him giving out #KeepTheSecrets badges.

As a media, it's sad to not create a wordgasm about him and see a quoted row of stars that I assigned.

As a media, it's a fucking relief to not even have to try to summarise the complexity of the structure and interweaving themes and the goddam joy of spending over two hours with a middle-aged man who has listed every thing he owns and typed them up on cards in an old library card catalogue.

I haven't written much about Kitson, but I always see his work and his work inspires me when I want to walk away and never write again.

And I need something to link to when I list it as a favourite at the end of the year.

MICF: Rock Out With Your Bok Out – Lauren Bok

MICF
Rock Out With Your Bok Out
Lauren Bok
Crowded
21 April 2019
Crowded in the Vaults
to 21 April
comedyfestival.com.au

Lauren Bok

On Sunday night, when performers and audiences are counting down the minutes until they can sleep, I took my own advice and saw #OneMoreShow. One more Gibbo-award-nominated  #kickarsefeminist show where the audience were singing along to Queen before the show even started: Rock Out With Your Bok Out.

Melbourne comedian and performer Lauren Bok's thought her new show would be tits and puns, but you need a bit more to get one of those award nominations. So she put a Led Zepplin t-shirt over her creation-myth-inspired sequin pasties and added some rock-star stories, her personal learning curve of the mastery of the rules and lingo of polyamory, and her nephew's potty training.

The connection between some of her stories doesn't always add to her bigger story, but who cares when there's mime to make a narrative connection. It's not good mime, but it's wonderfully hilarious and I'll be back next time if only just for the mime

MICF: Vanity Fair Enough – Margot Tanjutco

MICF
Vanity Fair Enough
Margot Tanjutco 
20 April 2019
Malthouse – Mini Merlyn
to 21 April
comedyfestival.com.au

Margot Tanjutco

Another night at MICF, another kick-arse feminist musical comedy show by another kick-arse middle class anarchist feminist.

When Margot Tanjutco (from Romeo is not the only fruit) discovered that fashion can be far more than something to attract people, she found a new home on Instagram. And she's winning Instagram (@margotxmargot) in a way that might get me away from the middle-aged-journalist haven of Twitter.

So to prepare for Vanity Fair Enough, she shopped. The transparent green plastic bum bag (I can't call it a fanny pack) was totally worth it just to hold her sunnies. She'd ordered the pants she wears within a minute of seeing them on Instagram. She also knows her shopping and regular re-branding is assisted by her still living in her childhood bedroom in a two-income household where neither are hers.

Identity and how we express it. The conflicting pressures and assumptions never go away.

Margot quickly found out that being queer woman of colour meant she wasn't going to be allowed to simply tap dance and sing roles written for young skinny white women pining for handsome men. When Margot studied musical theatre, there was all this pressure on her to think as well.

And write.

When the canon doesn't acknowledge you, you create work for your voice and experiences.

Margot embraces and rejects and questions and loves all her contradictions. You can want to end the use of all plastic packaging and get over excited at a package arriving and wrapped in more plastic than all the single-use bags you haven't used at the supermarket this year. It's possible to have an identity that isn't what the world expects you to be.

MICF: Either Side of Everything – Wil Greenway

MICF
Either Side of Everything
Wil Greenway
Crowded
20 April 2019
Crowded in the Vaults
to 21 April
comedyfestival.com.au

Wil Greenway

Describing a story can never do it justice. Like describing the taste of a ripe warm fig picked from a tree or a cheese sandwich made with homemade bread and butter, words can only hint at the experience.

Wil Greenaway tells a story, or four stories, in Either Side of Everything. There are figs and cheese sandwiches. And two friends in a car on a road trip, an old woman with spiky white hair and "fuck the police" tattooed on her ankle, and a bug called Brian. And it floats and leaps through time and makes you know the entree you want for your last meal. (Vegetarian Su Roll from Ying Chow in Adelaide or vegetable tempura from anywhere in Japan.)

The story is sad and still makes you wonder why you don't feel that happy all the time, even if you're wiping away a tear. It's just a silly story, but it's a story we are told. I will read a story to any child that wants to hear a story because it's one of the most lovely things to do. Greenaway lets us feel like a child curled in a lap of someone who loves them and being told their favourite story.

Sorry, that's taking the metaphor too far. This isn't like that; it's a story for adults and it's damn funny. But it is really lovely to be told a story.

While not comparable, Either Side of Everything reminded me of the story telling by Daniel Kitson and Gavin Osborn. (I'm seeing Kitson tomorrow, so have no idea what his show is about this year.), Kitson himself is a fan Greenway. As now I am, too.

He's in a small room by the river where 30 people would be a crowd. The only fair way to end his run tomorrow is to overcrowd the room.

Fit another show in. You won't regret it.

And, you can sit here before or after and have a beer with a toastie or a cheese platter.

View from Pilgrim bar. Phone snap by A-M Peard

MICF: I Have A Face – Jude Perl

MICF
I Have A Face
Jude Perl 
The Butterfly Club
14 April 2019
The Butterfly Club
to 21 April
comedyfestival.com.au

Jude Perl

Jude Perl's I Have a Face won the 2018 Best Cabaret at the Melbourne Fringe and has been winning Green Room awards since 2016. This was the first time I've finally been able to see her do a full show.

It wasn't a show that wanted a review this festival, but of all the musical comedy I've seen recently hers are the songs I've been singing to myself all week.

I loved it. Her work is personal and vulnerable and questions so many of the ridiculous expectations about femininity and sexuality that face women every day. I'm saving the review up for her next show.

MICF: Patrick Collins Mime Consultant

MICF
Patrick Collins Mime Consultant
Enter Closer and Crowded
19 April 2019
Tasma Terrace
to 21 April
comedyfestival.com.au

Patrick Collins

When I hear the word "mime", I smile politely and try to scrub out the memory of Marcel Marceau's Bip trapped in an invisible box that you can't put a blanket over to calm him down.

I don't know why I do this because mime is the best. Mime shows are ones where I have been blown away by the original approach to old ways of telling stories and laughed so much that I'm genuinely embarrassed (Trygve Wakenshaw). And at the blurry end of the comedy festival, Patrick Collins did the same.

Patrick wears a shirt and tie because he's off to the office where he's a mime consultant. He knows mime IS important and that there are mime emergencies and run-of-the-mill questions that need answering every day. And, of course, mime artists can talk and interact and get out of their invisible boxes.

Sitting on his office chair leaves the audience grateful for the-most-uncomfortable-chairs-in-any-festival-venue but what takes his mix of stand-up and sketch it to a Golden-Gibbo-award-nomination level is story and character. Fortnite dancing is so much better with a story about teenage boys and the best belly flop ever would just be "do-that-again!" if it didn't happen on a cruise.

Throw in magic, erotica and some things that really happened to Patrick and this mime consultation lets us see the invisible from a new perspective.

MICF: Garbage Monster – Alice Tovey

MICF
Garbage Monster
Alice Tovey 
Hot Mess Productions and The Butterfly Club
18 April 2019
The Butterfly Club
to 21 April
comedyfestival.com.au

Alice Tovey

One day, singer and feminist super hero Alice Tovey and her music director feminist super hero Ned Dixon will have to move to huge theatres. But this weekend they are still in the kitsch heaven of The Butterfly Club where you can see the stage and have a cocktail.

Garbage Monster is about what we don't put in the bin, what we keep next to the bin, what we recycle and what we leave festering at the bottom because we don't use plastic bin bags to get the slimy gross stuff out of our lives.

Alice begins her bin dive with an outfit made from bright-orange plastic temporary safety-fencing, but this is far from a safe show.

First to be dropped are some of those celebrities – mostly men, but this is a genuinely equal show – whose repulsive behaviour and ideas have ruined some of our favourite films and tv shows*. IN THE BIN they go.

Then she makes room for the people who think they know her and somehow think that their opinion of her matters. They may STFU and get IN THE BIN as Alice sings about the "lies" women tell and how, maybe, performers really do perform on stage.

But that's just the beginning. It's easy to dump people we don't know. It's harder to squish down the rubbish and make room for people we know, even if they treat us like they found us in a bin. We all know someone who has stayed in a damaging relationship. Alice has. I have. And we're certainly not the only ones. Getting them in the bin is the first step. Then comes the work or keeping them in there and making sure that bin goes out on bin night.

And that's before we rubbish ourselves. We may claim to be totally ok with our bodies but still spend far too much of our time trying to change things that will never change and wearing a '"shame bra" that's too far too tight. It really feels great to stop apologising for everything, wear comfy underwear and know that there's room in the bin for anything that belongs there.

Alice has a voice that should echo in the souls of anyone who rubbish others. And Garbage Monster's mix of theme, personal story and zeitgeist anger is the perfect mix to make the kind of compost that's guaranteed to turn shit into stuff that makes everything thrive.

*And theatre. The famous actor isn't alone in the bin.

MICF: The Ballad of John Tilt Animus – Justin Hamilton

MICF
The Ballad of John Tilt Animus
Justin Hamilton
Token
The Toff in Town
To 16 April
comedyfestival.com.au

Justin Hamilton

My review in in Time Out.

MICF: Garry Starr Conquers Troy – Damien Warren-Smith

MICF
Gary Starr Conquers Troy
Milke and Damien Warren-Smith
10 April 2019
Malthouse – The Tower
to 21 April
comedyfestival.com.au

Garry Starr

During festivals, there's always a show that gets lost in the deluge of exhaustion and other stuff*.

But I loved every second of Gary Starr Conquers Troy as he confirmed every secret belief I have that acting is just a big game of pretendies.

Here's Myron's review instead.

*I think he'll forgive me because I was writing about the treatment of women in our theatres

MICF: Misery – Neil Triffett

MICF
Misery
Neil Triffett
Enter Closer and Crowded
17 April 2019
Tasma Terrace
to 21 April
comedyfestival.com.au

Neil Triffett

There have been a lot of positive upbeat isn't-life-awseome shows this festival, so it was great to get back to the real source of comedy: Misery.

Misery, a keyboard, a ukulele and an opening song that's about being a self-indulgent performer.

Neil Triffett has had some difficult times, even if he is a white bloke in his 30s. There was being nine in 1996 and living in Port Arthur in Tasmania. It wasn't so much the horrendous massacre, but the assigned school counsellor with large breasts. And the later regret of not buying a goat in India.

Neil is at his best when he's singing. He songs are full of wit and character and are totally sing-along-able. He's also at his best when he's telling stories about himself. But this is a new work. There are lots of ideas that are still finding a way to come together and tell the bigger story that's clearly hiding in there.

It's also a personal work that leaves many questions unanswered. Neil genuinely connects with his audience, who are on his side and want to gang up on the people who have caused him misery. But we want to know more about his mum not being ok with him being gay, and the double punch of a break up at the same time a feature film didn't find its audience. When an audience are left guessing, they don't have the space to really connect with the performer. Or, audiences are total nosey parkers and want to know more.

And give Emo the Musical a watch on Netflix. Just because some critics were "ouch", doesn't mean there aren't lots of people who will love it.

MICF: Nerds are Sexy – PickUp

MICF
Nerds are Sexy
PickUp
The Butterfly Club
14 April 2019
The Butterfly Club
to 21 April
comedyfestival.com.au

PickUp

Nerds are Sexy. Derr!

What's not hot about someone who enthusiastically shares their passion and is prepared to really know – really know – how to do something really well.

Rock's also sexy.

And the combination of both can be too much!

Alia Vryens and Colin Craig have no shame in being nerds. Nor in being positive and enthusiastic about sexuality and about having sex. Last year, their first full-length show was about their polyamorous relationship and welcomed questions from the audience. They've since toured to festivals and host and curate the semi-regular Funny Music Mondays at The Butterfly Club, where Melbourne's best cabaret artists try out new work or simply let loose and be funny.

There's no wrong way to nerd. If you play games on tables or online with many stranger, love cosplay, can explain D&D or have watched every episode of Dr Who (and read all the books, listed to the audio series and judge your friends based on their opinion of Russell T Davies), you'll be with your tribe – and maybe get the chance to talk about your own glorious obsessions.

They also rock with songs about the likes of pinball, getting dumped by your Dragon Age boyfriend, and why women's armour doesn't cover their boobs.  And if you think it's all about Colin and his guitar, you haven't seen Alia with her ukulele.

But don't worry if you're not a nerd. Come on, who are you kidding? You're reading a nerdy theatre blog. You're one of us.

PickUp are creating a wonderful on-stage relationship as they decide which one of them is really sexier and smarter. I'm looking forward to seeing how their stage story develops and grows, especially as they are beginning to find a loyal audience who are going to obsessively love them a bit too much.

Opinion: #IStillStandWithEJ. Rush wins defamation case

Make some noise. Let women know that they are believed and that their safety and wellbeing are far more important than the reputation of a powerful man who can afford good lawyers.

Eryn Jean Norvill outside of court. Source: AAP

I wrote this during the trial.

The judge released his verdict on 11 April. There was some outrage, but a lot of silence.

I wrote this for ArtsHub about the verdict.

MICF: Poopie Tum Tums – Honor Wolff, Patrick Durnan Silva

MICF
Poopie Tum Tums
Honor Wolff and Patrick Durnan Silva
The Very Good Looking Initiative and The Butterfly Club
13 April 2019
The Butterfly Club
To 21 April
comedyfestival.com.au

Honor Wolff and Patrick Durnan Silva

My review is in Time Out.

MICF: Once Bitten – Nikki Britton

MICF
Once Bitten
Nikki Britton 
11 April 2019
Melbourne Town Hall – Lunch Room
to 21 April
comedyfestival.com.au

Nikki Britton

Nikki Britton was one of two 36-year-old woman I saw on the same day a Federal Court Judge declared that another 30-something woman was not credible because she knew that treating the space around her body as a joke wasn't ok.

Both shows were about how it's still a surprise to the world when women take up space and behave like themselves rather than being quiet little – as little as possible – pretty things who don't swear, eat or fuck.

Nikki is totally ok with taking up space and having an appetite for food, sex, affection, polka dot pant suits, and being on a stage and talking about how it's more than ok for women to enjoy their bodies – even if that means someone asking if you're pregnant. Having an appetite for life still results in awkward conversions. Hopefully only awkward for the person asking because women don't have to explain or justify their bodies to strangers.

To make everyone comfortable, she begins with a lot of old-school "she knows what I mean"  observations and balances her opinion that women are ok by assuring the men in the room that they have lovely dicks. Cos that's what good girls go, isn't it – appease and praise.

Nikki's not good, she's great.

There was a time in her life when she was good. She did everything that was expected of a good girl. She knew the rules and was praised and congratulated for doing what it took to blend in and not take up space. It also nearly killed her.

Maybe one day women will take up all the space they want and need and no one will need to explain why that's more than ok.

MICF: Giantess – Cassie Workman

MICF
Giantess
Cassie Workman
Century
14 April 2019
Melbourne Town Hall – Backstage Room
comedyfestival.com.au

Cassie Workman

Cassie Workman tells a story about a little girl who was stolen by a troll in K-Mart when she was looking at a dress and her dad turned away for a moment. With a keyboard to play live music and a screen to project black and white illustrations, her story telling is enchanting.

The girl lives with the troll for years. She survives but always wonders why she's not the Giantess she knows she really is. Fairytales aren't always sweet and easy; there's sadness and failure and they demand a massive act of bravery to reach a, never-guaranteed, happy ending.

And they tend to be allegorical.

Cassie began transitioning in 2017. She's still in the process and thinks she's now earning about 90 cents to the dollar. Her story of a little girl looking at a pink dress and her dad saying that he wished she could be normal is likely true to be for many people. As is the regret of many people at a thoughtless throwaway comments. Words matter, and Cassie's example of how to introduce someone who doesn't use your preferred pronouns is brilliant.

She mixes the fairytale with the telling of her story. The combination of the gently-twee tale, with bonus puns, and her lived story, with bonus Italian-family jokes, creates a sense of safety and warmth – so much that the gut-punches take a moment to catch up before the impact is felt. But they do catch up. Being safe to be yourself is a privilege.

It's a story about being brave – braver than going though a second puberty at 37 – even if you're not ready to be brave.

Giantess leaves you feeling big in all the best ways. It's one to see in the small room before it moves to much bigger spaces and Cassie shares her story with the world.

My guess is that we will be hearing the word "Barry" soon.

UPDATE: How brilliant that we're not hearing that word and the award is now called The Most Outstanding Show.

MICF: Too Much – Eve Ellenbogen

MICF
Too Much
Eve Ellenbogen
Enter Closer and Crowded
11 April 2019
Crowded in the Vaults: Pilgrim Bar
to 21 April
comedyfestival.com.au

Eve Ellenbogen

Even Ellenbogen moved from New York to Melbourne in 2015. She's still noticing how being Jewish in Melbourne is different from being Jewish in New York, but knows that referencing The Nanny sit com will bring most audiences up to speed if they've never had a bagel from Glicks.

She was a Raw Comedy state finalist in 2016 and 2017 and she's often told that being herself is Too Much. Fuck that. If you can't make noise and be honest by your mid-30s, what's the point?

She grew up loving Disney princess films but sees them with a far more critical eye now, especially as she's now as ancient as the mid-30s Wicked Queen in Snow White. Those films are weird and still contribute to girls aspiring to be skinny, quiet princesses for their men. It's easy to be critical of such boring and dated ideals, but Eve also knows that she still defaults to wanting male approval. She's working on it. She's still enjoying Tinder, but she's working on her need for approval.

There are times when it feels like she's pushing the point about how people can't take jokes about sex and women, until she reveals some of the reasons she's determined to make that point. She's still finding the sweet spot between her on-stage character and self and working on linking her stories into her bigger story. But that only comes as you keep doing shows and I think we'll be hearing a lot more from Eve in the near future. I'll sure be there.

And she's performing in my new favourite MICF venue – Pilgrim Bar on Federation Wharf. Head down to the river on the Federation Square side of Princes Bridge. There's great food and drink, the best view of the river, and the shows are in an underground vault that feels like being in a round brick bunker waiting for the bombs to fall.

MICF: Origins – Dane Simpson

MICF
Origins
Dane Simpson
Aborigi-LOL
10 April 2019
The Coopers Malthouse – Shell Room
To 21 April
comedyfestival.com.au

Dane Simpson

My review is in Time Out.

MICF: Robot Song

MICF for kids
Robot Song
Theatre Works and Arena Theatre
2 April 2019
Theatre Works
to 13 April
comedyfestival.com.au

Robot Song

Robot Song is all kinds of wonderful and then some. It finishes on Saturday.

Juniper's 11 and doesn't like going to school. She'd rather be at home with her parents or her best friend, who's a skip bin who makes toys and more friends out of rubbish. Juniper (Ashlea Pyke) also likes singing (Nate Gilkes wrote the music) and, with the help of her mum (Jo Abbott) and especially her dad (Phil McInnes), she wants to tell the story about why she stopped going to school and how a robot helped her to see her world differently.

Juniper knows she a bit different from her classmates. She doesn't like this, but she's ok with it because she has an art teacher who knows how creative Juniper is and she has a family who love and understand her. Although it's not discussed in her play, Juniper's story was inspired by the director/writer/designer Joylon James's son, who has autism.

One day Juniper's class give her a letter saying that they don't want her at their school. They call her a robot and the letter is so horrible that, even as an adult, it's hard to accept it as children not understanding the effect of their words.

Juniper can't dismiss it either and refuses to go back to school. Until a robot from a 1980s video she watched with her dad appears in her back yard.

As Juniper is played by an adult, we are always seeing the story from an adult point of view where her trauma is understood and her unconditional love and safety is assured. This allows children to be engrossed in her story, feel her pain and still feel safe.

Robot Song is far more than an insight into to being a child on the autism spectrum. It's a story about  empathy, understanding and creativity and how difference is a way to connect far more than a reason to reject.

Review: West Side Story

West Side Story
Opera Australia and GWB Entertainment present
the BB Group production
9 April 2019
State Theatre – Arts Centre Melbourne
to 28 April, then touring
westsidestory.com.au

Opera Australia, "West Side Story". Photo by Jeff Busby

In 1957 West Side Story changed musical theatre. It made an old story feel new in contemporary New York. It used the language, movement, sound and issues of 1950s America and set a new level of everything that musical theatre aspires to be. It's so rare to have new work come near the same cultural impact; maybe Hamilton. The West Side Story by Jerome Robbins, Arthur Laurents, Leonard Bernstein and Stephen Sondheim sits on the top of "best musicals ever" lists because it is.

And Opera Australia are bringing it to us 62 years later. This revival production has been touring and reproduced since 2000 and was originally directed by Joey McNeely, who was taught the 1957 choreography by director/choreographer Robbins. It's chorey so connected to the work that a finger click is all that's needed to make fans put their arms out like a cross and spiral with their knees together.

It's a big-budget production with an imposing design of crowded metal fire escapes against giant photos of 1950s west-side New York. The easy highlight of the budget is having a 31-piece orchestra (Orchestra Victoria conducted by American Donald Chan) and it's an absolute joy to hear the complexity of the score with such a big orchestra.

It's also awesome to see a full cast who look like the teenagers they are portraying. Many are making their professional theatre debuts. Some nail it.

Still the show feels emotionally flat. Holding itself so close to being a recreation of a recreation of a 62-year-old show strangles any originality and authenticity. With even the most simple gestures looking choreographed, little action comes from character, let alone from personal interpretation. This is the same Maria, Tony, Riff, Doc and Anybodys that have been on stages since 1957.

A work that was so about rejecting the past and being about right here and now, Daddy-O, has become a production stuck in the past. It's not like the story about racism, poverty, immigration, young people, gangs, police, misogyny, violence, rape and guns is nostalgic. The dream ballet is dated, the content isn't.

West Side Story is still one of the greatest musicals ever made and this is close to seeing the original production. But it's a safe show that doesn't take any risks that would dare to bring it into right here and now.

MICF: Glittergrass – Fringe Wive Club

MICF
Glittergrass
Fringe Wives Club
31 March 2019
Malthouse – Beckett Theatre
to 21 April
comedyfestival.com.au

Fringe Wives Club

I'd been calling Glittergrass "Clittergrass" – both work.

The Fringe Wives Club have been touring to festivals with pink and purple sequins, clothes with pockets, and a positive and unrelenting feminist attitude for over two years. They're making women, and anyone identifying as female, feel good about themselves by telling stories about amazing women, reminding the I'm-not-a-feminists that you can have a dick without being a dick, and acknowledging the privilege of being able to make many song-and-dances about being a woman.

To increase the power of the club, the original trio (Victoria Falconer, Tessa Waters and Rowena Hutson) have welcomed brilliant new wives Laura Frew and Sharnema Nougar. The new show also has a live band of wives, and everyone who sees and loves them can consider themselves a wife. (It's the only time I'd call myself a wife.)

Does sparkle, song, dance and purple hair change the world? If only it were that easy. But a show that addresses anger, frustration and shame with love, pride and positivity is many steps in the right direction.

And they ain't finished yet. Today I read this story in the Guardian. Our federal government doesn't believe the professional advice about domestic violence and thinks it's better for women and children to stay in abusive relationships because "family". If you think counselling will help, have a watch of this episode of You Can't Ask That on iView. We ain't finished yet.

Being a wife is about way more than pockets, awesome hair and confidence. It's being someone who supports and is supported. It's about creating a world where everyone can feel and be safe. It's about standing up for people who can't stand up for themselves. It's about making equality the bottom line of what we accept in life, rather than something we reach for.

Jessie Hickman: the bushranger no one makes a musical about

MICF: Super Amazing Giant Girl – Anna Lumb and Jez Davies

MICF for kids
Super Amazing Giant Girl
Anna Lumb and Jez Davies
7 April 2019
Melbourne Town Hall – Lower Town Hall
to 21 April
comedyfestival.com.au

Anna Lum,  Jez Davies

Start taking kids to theatre as soon as you can. They will love you for the experience; there's no comparison to a screen. And it's just as much fun for the grown ups.

Super Amazing Giant Girl is recommended for ages 4 and up. Asking will let you know if they're too old for it; kids know what they like.

Super Amazing Giant Girl is Anna Lumb. She's a giant and she's pretty amazing. She's also kind and caring and a great role model for anyone who feels like they are a bit different from the crowd.

When she's forced out of her town for being different, she goes to the city where she meets Normal Person (Jez Davies). He helps show her how amazing she is and when the city needs help, he knows just the super amazing person to save the day.

With roller skates, hula hoops, tumbling, balancing, dancing, singing, audience participation and smelly-undies jokes, it's a mini-circus with a super story about being yourself, being strong and being super. And never letting anyone tell you that you're not amazing.

MICF: Neal Portenza is Joshua Ladgrove

MICF
Neal Portenza is Joshua Ladgrove
Neal Portenza and Joshua Ladgrove5 April 2019
Chinese Museum – Silk Room
To 21 April
comedyfestival.com.au

Neal Portenza as Joshua Ladgrove

My review is in Time Out.

MICF: R.O.F.L.S.H.A.L.B.O.W.C.O. – The Listies

MICF for kids
R.O.F.L.S.H.A.L.B.O.W.C.O. (roll on the floor laughing so hard a little bit of wee comes out)
The Listies
7 April 2019
Coopers Malthouse – Beckett Theatre
to 21 April
comedyfestival.com.au
www.thelisties.com

The Listies

There's always someone in a comedy show who doesn't get it – except at The Listies.

R.O.F.L.S.H.A.L.B.O.W.C.O. (pronounced "roflshalbowco") is the happiest show of the festival. It's impossible not to make silly faces from laughing so much. The only way you can't laugh is if you don't have a face.

This festival, Rich thinks it's time for beddy byes but Matt isn't tired. Lullabies with a punk twist, puns and fairy tales don't help – not even Jack and the Beans Talk! (Warning: fart jokes.) Luckily there's an audience of willing helpers eager to join in with songs and list making.

Kids know The Listies are the absolute best, but there are also lots of the groan ups at their shows who have found (or made) kids just so they can be part of the mayhem*. Richard Higgins and Matt Kelly are the rock stars of kids theatre because they know that kids are smarter than most adults and that they deserve the respect of never seeing anything naff or boring. Their jokes are always up-to-date, they can improvise on the most surprising audience suggestion, and they look like they have as much fun as their audiences do.

The only downside of seeing The Listies is that kids may be disappointed the next time they go to the theatre because it isn't always this awesomely excellent.

And they are so gosh-giddy lovely that they stay around after the show for photos and to sign their books, CDs and posters.

Being the rock stars of kids theatre, they are nearly sold out. Book now because missing The Listies isn't worth the regret.


* A highlight for me was seeing a girl on stage playing a crab. She doesn't remember being at one of the first ever Listies gigs when she was still in her mum.

MICF: Completely Improvised Potter – Soothplayers

MICF
Completely Improvised Potter
Soothplayers
4 April 2019
Trades Hall – The Meeting Room
to 21 April
comedyfestival.com.au
improvisedpotter.com.au

Completely Improvised Potter

I'm not keeping the wretched secrets this time!  #TellTheSecrets

The Soothplayers started bringing Completely Improvised Shakespeare to Melbourne in 2015 and soon expanded to another great canon with Completely Improvised Potter. It's very serious stuff. Seriously hilarious.

And magical. I don't know how they do it.

Each night a new audience-suggested HP title is drawn from their Goblet of Fire. They have to not infringe on copyright and be PG. Student witches and wizards are welcome, but is it PG, not G.

In Harry Potter and ...  The Magic Carpet Ride, Harry, Ron and Hermione are in Diagon Alley and  check out the carpet store with a 70%-off sale. Ron's too poor to buy anything but Harry's scar tells him to buy the one with Cedric Diggory's face on it. Is it too soon? It's not like Harry hasn't seen Cedric's body lying on the ground in front of him very recently.

Back at Hogwarts, Dumbledore's no help, Neville's become the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, and Cho Chang is getting over Cedric and thinks that Harry has bought her a present – a carpet.

Meanwhile, Snape is hanging with the Death Eaters and You-Know-Who (still with a T) is still faffing around with portkeys as he tries to kill Harry.

And Bellatrix is pissed that she's just a bit on the side, Ron has a never-ending pumpkin pasty, Ginny date crashes Cho and Harry, no one knows what Yaxley does, and Harry escapes death and adds to his trauma.

There are no secrets to keep when the story can never be told again.

The cast dress as the Hogwarts student they would be in a world where the Dark Lord can be played by the same person playing Ginny and where it's natural that Harry is a blond woman in a Slytherin tie. None of which takes anything away from the experience; characters are not what they look like.

Each performer starts with character traits that make them almost instantly recognisable – Hermione is an uptight swat, Lucius likes his pretty long hair – and exaggerate their flaws.  Add a "what if?" – what if Dumbledore decided to say "yes" to everything? – and a knowledge of the books and storytelling that I can't complete with and there's an improvised story that JK herself could be jealous of.

Muggles might have moments when they wonder why the rest of the crowded room is grinning inanely and laughing themselves sick at jokes that need the context of having read all the books more than once. But this show has a "laugh guarantee" and I don't think they've ever had a claim. For the rest of us, it's wonderful to be in a Hogwartsy* room where nearly everyone gets every reference. And that's before the bonus Cursed-Child jokes

So put on your house colours and when you book a ticket for your second show – I don't know if once is enough – make sure you add Completely Improvised Shakespeare.

* Built with stones and old = Hogwartsy

MICF: Woman of the Hour – Sophie Joske

MICF
Woman of the Hour
Sophie Joske
The Butterfly Club
3 April 2019
The Butterfly Club
to 11 April
comedyfestival.com.au

Sophie Joske

Last MICF, Sophie Joske was nominated for the Golden Gibbo , with Anna Piper Scott,  for Almost Lesbians. She's back with Woman of the Hour: an original solo work (directed by Anna Lehmann Thomson) where she performers 35 characters.

She describes the show as "the demented love child of Grey Gardens and Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? raised by a queer feminist" – and I can't do better. Her queer feminist exploration of expectations of beauty, conformity and fame begins with a story about stardom.

Cassandra Barbitoll is an ageing star who's never not performing. With her silent-screen make-up, a velvet turban and a floral velvet day jacket, it's easy to imagine the stage as a black-and-white screen with a scratchy soundtrack. But Cassandra wears purple, green and red and never liked ideas that were back and white – even when she went along with them.

When she was Baby Sandy, being a star was easy; she was gorgeous and fitted all the artificial parameters of gorgeous. She became an advertising star and her mum taught her how to avoid gravity and crows feet from birth. Being pretty worked well for her, until puberty struck. But there are still parts for not-so-pretty women. And if you know you're a star, you KNOW you're a star.

Cassanda is every woman working in an industry that has loved her too much, hated her too much and been oblivious to her existence. She's the women who are put on pedestals and loved, or hated, for being something that they are not. And all the people who support them and knock them down along the way.

Woman of the Hour is a fresh and complex look at an ongoing issue. Structured and paced to let the laughs come easily, the genuine questioning of each laugh feels natural, all 35 characters are unforgettable, and I've never seen such an accurate and moving portrayal of facial hair facing imminent death. 

MICF: Ovariacting, A Period Drama – Jamie Boiskin

MICF
Ovariacting: A Period Drama
Jamie Boiskin
The Butterfly Club
3 April 2019
The Butterfly Club
to 7 April
comedyfestival.com.au

Jamie Boiskin

Ever walked into someone's bathroom to see the sink filled with underwear soaking in reddy brown water with a few clots on the surface?

That face you're making. Hold it and look in a mirror. At 23, Jamie Boiskin's had enough of people making "that face" and has taken on the role of being a menstrual activist. And activism is always best in the form of musical cabaret.

Why are women's menstrual cycles still such taboo? My mother called pads "unmentionalbles" when I got my first period. Is there anyone who menstruates who doesn't have at least one humiliating memory of bleeding all over something. And why do women still make that face? It's not like most of us haven't wiped a splatter of blood off the wall when we've removed a tampon or cup and know  the routine of "rinse in cold water, Sard's Wonder Soap, soak".

Jamie's had enough of it. She also has endometriosis and polycystic ovarian syndrome. That means bleeding for weeks instead of days. And pain*. She talks about the pain, but she's describing it in ways that make people feel comfortable. Her angry uterus's ovaries covered in cysts are are what got me. Even if the cysts are fluffy pink pompoms and her uterus is Alice Albon.

She's also joined by Louise Cumming as a giant emergency tampon and her musical director Thomas Bradford on the piano, who stands in for all men as he becomes a proud menstrual activist.

Jamie mixes her personal story with that of all of us – even if you don't menstruate, you spent a few months in a uterus. With jam, red paint, song and dance, she talks about condescending  gynecologists who are no help, has a Bunnings colour chart for discharge, brings originality to the obligatory "if men had periods" jokes, and touches on issues like what happens when you can't afford or access hygiene products.

It's time to be angry. It's time to make a song and dance about menstruation and make discussions about periods as natural as menstrual cycles. Imagine walking to the bathroom at work without hiding your "product". Imagine going to the loo at a friend's house and not having to think about flushing a tampon because there isn't a bin. Imagine girls in third world countries not dropping out of school because of menstrual shame. Imagine women not getting ill and dying from infections because their hygiene isn't a priority.

I wish I'd seen a show like this when I was a teenager.

And don't get me started about why we don't talk about perimenopause.


*I can't describe the pain of endometriosis; I don't have it. I suspect it's like the worst period cramps and then some. I once tried to describe cramps to a male friend who thought my telling him I was in pain was a joke. Imagine a hand gently cupping your karen's handful (Hannah Gadsby's suggested name if testicles had been named by women); it feels ok, but the anticipation of what could happen is constant. Now, imagine the pressure of that grip slowly increasing. It goes from "I could enjoy this in the right consensual space" to "Ok, that's enough" to "Stop" to "FFS, stop!" to looking around because you feel like you're going to pass out. Then the pressure releases and the still-painful stages back to gentle cupping are a relief. Then the pressure starts again. Now move that pain a few inches up and in.

MICF: Poolside – Oliver Coleman

MICF
Poolside
Oliver Coleman
Enter Closer and Crowded
Tasma Terrace 4
31 March 2019
To 7 April
comedyfestival.com.au

Oliver Coleman

My review is in Time Out.

MICF: Stickin' Together – Lessons with Luis

Stickin' Together
Lessons with Luis
Julz Hays presents
30 March 2019
Melbourne Town Hall – Lunch Room
to 21 April
comedyfestival.com.au
lessonswithluis.com

Luelin, Luis. Lessons With Luis

Luis is my favourite (sorry Hannah). He's polite and would never say a bad word. His hair is neat, he helps his neighbours and he writes songs about cats. And he knows that when you get the right Aussie-outback-coloured jumper from an op shop, you wear it all the time.

This year, he begins his show by telling us how it's good to be kind. Some comedians aren't always kind and make jokes about people. Some people haven't been kind to Luis.

Since winning Raw Comedy and the Golden Gibbo with his family in 2012, Luis has tried different types of comedy at the festival. We've seen game shows, stand-up and educational theatre but it's time that TV really noticed Luis's genius talent. He's been on community telly and likes YouTube (here's his page), but it's time he became really famous. I want to watch him on iView. Maybe TV will see what it's missing this year because Luis has written a live sit com.

Starring Luis, it's set in space where he lives with his little brother, Luelin, and their cat, Catty. Catty pre-recorded their part. That must be because cats aren't allowed to perform at the comedy festival.

The other super-star who pre-recorded their part is Pete – Saaaaaaale of the Century – Smith. I know! TV, see what stars Luis can bring to you.

Things are great in space until they need to get a lot of money very quickly. Luckily there's a dance contest and Luis and Luelin are very good at dancing. And when the plot gets complicated, Luis stops and explains what's going on.

As usual, Luelin is a bit naughty and doesn't let Luis do the good comedy that Luis has practiced. Although Luis, as a big brother, maybe you should encourage Luelin when he learns his own things. After all, he is really very good at dancing.

The relationship between the brothers continues to be poignant, complex and unexpectedly moving, but I look forward to see it changing as the boys grow up.

In the meantime, Luis, Luelin and Catty are still the very best at comedy and I still refuse to consider that they are characters.

PS. No badges this year, but that's OK because I won one in 2015. Although, I am sad for anyone who doesn't have a Luis badge

MICF: Carl Donnolly – Full of Beans

MICF
Full of Beans
Carl Donnelly
30 March 2019
Mantra on Russell – go for the video art in the foyer
to 21 April
comedyfestival.com.au

Carl Donnelly

I'm always encouraging people to take risks and see the kinds of shows and performers that they usually avoid. So, it was time to take my own advice and see a straight, white, middle-aged bloke doing stand up; it's been a while.

To be honest, I didn't reach that far out of my comfort zone and went to a small room and saw a vegan who got married on a beach near my place.

Carl Donnelly grew up working class in the UK and still tries to adhere to the rules of diversity, sticking it to the posh people and hating gentrification. He tries. But it's hard when he seems to have gentrified himself and become crystal-pendant wearing vegan who orders cold-drip coffee, spends far too much on sourdough bread* and married an Australian on Brighton Beach in Melbourne.

Yeah, he's turned. But he's still got a story about getting smashed at a stag do and tying to be as resilient as a 20-something.

Full of Beans is in its early days. There's material that'll go and some that has his audience wanting to hear far more about, like that about his current relationship with his family and his flat-earther brother.

* Yell out if you need to know the best in Melbourne